Blargh.

Jul. 16th, 2007 09:32 pm
agilebrit: (D'Argo -- Anteaters)
I have a cold. I think. Yuck. I have been completely uninspired to write anything and I'm really tired. And my leg hurts. That place where I scraped it on the rock on Antelope Island? It's turned a lovely purple color, on the inside of the leg, from about an inch over my ankle up to the bottom part of the calf muscle. I've been using Bag Balm on the scraped parts, because that stuff is amazing. I'd take a picture, but I wouldn't want to put anyone off their food. *eyes it* Yeah, it's kind of scary-looking. But not in an OMG IT'S INFECTED way, so, yay.

You know, it sure would be nice if anonymous reviewers would leave an email address so I could point them at my profile when they say they hope I'm inspired to write more [insert your favorite crack here], and so I could tell them they'll have to be content with what's there now. *sigh* Well. They've got a link right there on the story they liked; hopefully they'll use it. Really should update that profile...

Remember the badfic author from awhile back? She's re-uploaded that horrid Angel fic. At least she changed the character's age (she's sixteen now, oh joy *eyeroll*) and got rid of the script format, but it still lacks basic punctuation or anything resembling a coherent plot. Seems like an excuse to get Angel and her Sue I'm sorry, her OC Slayer, into bed. I'm...just not even going there anymore, y'all. The story needs a beta in the worst way, and I'm SO not the one to do it.

F&SF will send you a free copy of the September issue if you promise to blog about it after reading it. I've sent for mine, because hey. Free SF. Never a bad.

Well. I shall stare at the Books Gone Bad story. Or possibly the Stuff That Thing story. Or maybe I'll just watch Dresden...

Blargh.

Jul. 16th, 2007 09:32 pm
agilebrit: (D'Argo -- Anteaters)
I have a cold. I think. Yuck. I have been completely uninspired to write anything and I'm really tired. And my leg hurts. That place where I scraped it on the rock on Antelope Island? It's turned a lovely purple color, on the inside of the leg, from about an inch over my ankle up to the bottom part of the calf muscle. I've been using Bag Balm on the scraped parts, because that stuff is amazing. I'd take a picture, but I wouldn't want to put anyone off their food. *eyes it* Yeah, it's kind of scary-looking. But not in an OMG IT'S INFECTED way, so, yay.

You know, it sure would be nice if anonymous reviewers would leave an email address so I could point them at my profile when they say they hope I'm inspired to write more [insert your favorite crack here], and so I could tell them they'll have to be content with what's there now. *sigh* Well. They've got a link right there on the story they liked; hopefully they'll use it. Really should update that profile...

Remember the badfic author from awhile back? She's re-uploaded that horrid Angel fic. At least she changed the character's age (she's sixteen now, oh joy *eyeroll*) and got rid of the script format, but it still lacks basic punctuation or anything resembling a coherent plot. Seems like an excuse to get Angel and her Sue I'm sorry, her OC Slayer, into bed. I'm...just not even going there anymore, y'all. The story needs a beta in the worst way, and I'm SO not the one to do it.

F&SF will send you a free copy of the September issue if you promise to blog about it after reading it. I've sent for mine, because hey. Free SF. Never a bad.

Well. I shall stare at the Books Gone Bad story. Or possibly the Stuff That Thing story. Or maybe I'll just watch Dresden...
agilebrit: (D'Argo -- Shut up)
Remember the "writer" who put that horrible Angel fic up on FFN? She took that down about an hour after I reviewed it...but she's uploaded another ghastly story starring Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Catwoman. Apparently Batman and Wonder Woman are married to each other, but Wonder Woman is cheating on Batman with Superman, and Batman is cheating on Wonder Woman with Catwoman. Yeah, real "superhero" behavior there, kiddo. *eyeroll*

Add to that a completely random scene where a 10- or 11-year-old girl has been "rapped and murdered" with "seamen left behind," comma and period abuse, slutty superheroes, and the same crappy-ass formatting she used in the Angel fic, and she's hit the trifecta. Also, she's mistaken "sinus" for "since" again. *snerks* AND it's a crossover with L&O: SVU, which is why she had the random victim in there, I guess.

Anyone familiar with the Justice League 'verse wanna tackle this one? I'm beginning to wonder if it's a troll...
agilebrit: (D'Argo -- Shut up)
Remember the "writer" who put that horrible Angel fic up on FFN? She took that down about an hour after I reviewed it...but she's uploaded another ghastly story starring Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Catwoman. Apparently Batman and Wonder Woman are married to each other, but Wonder Woman is cheating on Batman with Superman, and Batman is cheating on Wonder Woman with Catwoman. Yeah, real "superhero" behavior there, kiddo. *eyeroll*

Add to that a completely random scene where a 10- or 11-year-old girl has been "rapped and murdered" with "seamen left behind," comma and period abuse, slutty superheroes, and the same crappy-ass formatting she used in the Angel fic, and she's hit the trifecta. Also, she's mistaken "sinus" for "since" again. *snerks* AND it's a crossover with L&O: SVU, which is why she had the random victim in there, I guess.

Anyone familiar with the Justice League 'verse wanna tackle this one? I'm beginning to wonder if it's a troll...
agilebrit: (D'Argo -- Shut up)
I can't even report this one to GAFF for snarkage, because there's underage sex in it.

Silly me, when I saw the rant at [livejournal.com profile] fanficrants, I decided to go hunting the fic myself. It wasn't hard to find, right there at the top of the Angel section on FFN.

And it's one of the most horrible trainwrecks I've ever read. Here. Share my pain. I'll wait.

Okay, back now? What did I tell you? Bad spelling--although nothing's misspelled, per se; she knows where her spellcheck is, at least. But some of the words that get used in place of the right ones are hilariously awful.

No commas or periods. Who does that? Has this person ever actually read a book in her entire life? Dialogue in script format, in violation of the FFN's TOS--not only that, but it's underlined and italicized. Ugh. WTF?

And then she turned Angel into a child molester.

Yup, her protagonist is twelve, and Angel has sex with her. *head explodes*

So, I left a review. Honestly, the thing reads like something an eight-year-old wrote, so I wasn't nearly as harsh as I wanted to be, but, DUDE.

ExpandReview under the cut, in case anyone cares. )

*sits back and waits for a flame to hit my inbox*

ETA: Annnnnnd... the story is gone. Damb. I'm glad I saved the review.
agilebrit: (D'Argo -- Shut up)
I can't even report this one to GAFF for snarkage, because there's underage sex in it.

Silly me, when I saw the rant at [livejournal.com profile] fanficrants, I decided to go hunting the fic myself. It wasn't hard to find, right there at the top of the Angel section on FFN.

And it's one of the most horrible trainwrecks I've ever read. Here. Share my pain. I'll wait.

Okay, back now? What did I tell you? Bad spelling--although nothing's misspelled, per se; she knows where her spellcheck is, at least. But some of the words that get used in place of the right ones are hilariously awful.

No commas or periods. Who does that? Has this person ever actually read a book in her entire life? Dialogue in script format, in violation of the FFN's TOS--not only that, but it's underlined and italicized. Ugh. WTF?

And then she turned Angel into a child molester.

Yup, her protagonist is twelve, and Angel has sex with her. *head explodes*

So, I left a review. Honestly, the thing reads like something an eight-year-old wrote, so I wasn't nearly as harsh as I wanted to be, but, DUDE.

ExpandReview under the cut, in case anyone cares. )

*sits back and waits for a flame to hit my inbox*

ETA: Annnnnnd... the story is gone. Damb. I'm glad I saved the review.

Oh, my.

Jul. 10th, 2006 06:56 pm
agilebrit: (Wash-Mine is an Evil Laugh)
It's like every slash badfic cliche rolled into one steaming mass of crap! Un-spellchecked, check. Angel, Spike, and Gunn, massively out of character? Check. Crappy punctuation, check. Words not capitalized that should be? Check. Run-on sentences, check. Lame dialogue, check. Run-on sentences in lame dialogue? Check.

Angel and Spike with snuggles and teddy bears? Check. Lame plot device to get the Spangely love interests together? Check.

Why do I care, you ask? What makes this any worse than 90% of the rest of the badfic that FFN gets inundated with every day?

Funny, that.

Because it's the same person who told me to "gain some talent."

What's even funnier is that the last line of the fic is this:
WHAT DO YOU THINK SHOULD I KEEP WRITING OR NO?

NO!

And the funny just keeps on coming, because she posted it nine days ago...and has no reviews. Not a single one.

I love the smell of sweet justice in the afternoon...

ETA: I wasn't kidding about the teddy bears. There's a literal teddy bear in the fic. Which Angelus(!) gave to Spike, once upon a time before the whole soul thing happened. No lie.

Oh, my.

Jul. 10th, 2006 06:56 pm
agilebrit: (Wash-Mine is an Evil Laugh)
It's like every slash badfic cliche rolled into one steaming mass of crap! Un-spellchecked, check. Angel, Spike, and Gunn, massively out of character? Check. Crappy punctuation, check. Words not capitalized that should be? Check. Run-on sentences, check. Lame dialogue, check. Run-on sentences in lame dialogue? Check.

Angel and Spike with snuggles and teddy bears? Check. Lame plot device to get the Spangely love interests together? Check.

Why do I care, you ask? What makes this any worse than 90% of the rest of the badfic that FFN gets inundated with every day?

Funny, that.

Because it's the same person who told me to "gain some talent."

What's even funnier is that the last line of the fic is this:
WHAT DO YOU THINK SHOULD I KEEP WRITING OR NO?

NO!

And the funny just keeps on coming, because she posted it nine days ago...and has no reviews. Not a single one.

I love the smell of sweet justice in the afternoon...

ETA: I wasn't kidding about the teddy bears. There's a literal teddy bear in the fic. Which Angelus(!) gave to Spike, once upon a time before the whole soul thing happened. No lie.
agilebrit: (Default)
Dear BtVS author:

I believe the word you're looking for is "warriors." Unless, that is, Buffy and Angel spend the whole fic walking around being worried. In which case, carry on.

Conditional love,
[livejournal.com profile] agilebrit

Okay, I'm still disappointed that Katherine didn't do the entire "Over the Rainbow" a capella.

Speaking of worrying...

You know, I really shouldn't have been worried about American Idol tonight. I've never heard "My Destiny" before, but I know a bad note when I hear one, and McPhee murdered that song. It was awful, totally out of her range. Unless Taylor messes up completely, I think he's got this in the bag.

Of course, I was wrong last year too. So if Taylor actually wins this? I'll have a heart attack.

In other news, I'm sitting at about 6400 words on the [livejournal.com profile] apocalyptothon fic. Dude. Just...dude.

ETA: Oh. Em. Gee. Taylor's last song? Rocked. My. Socks. That. Was awesome.
agilebrit: (Default)
Dear BtVS author:

I believe the word you're looking for is "warriors." Unless, that is, Buffy and Angel spend the whole fic walking around being worried. In which case, carry on.

Conditional love,
[livejournal.com profile] agilebrit

Okay, I'm still disappointed that Katherine didn't do the entire "Over the Rainbow" a capella.

Speaking of worrying...

You know, I really shouldn't have been worried about American Idol tonight. I've never heard "My Destiny" before, but I know a bad note when I hear one, and McPhee murdered that song. It was awful, totally out of her range. Unless Taylor messes up completely, I think he's got this in the bag.

Of course, I was wrong last year too. So if Taylor actually wins this? I'll have a heart attack.

In other news, I'm sitting at about 6400 words on the [livejournal.com profile] apocalyptothon fic. Dude. Just...dude.

ETA: Oh. Em. Gee. Taylor's last song? Rocked. My. Socks. That. Was awesome.
agilebrit: (Default)
im very sorry about my outburst. I am very protective of my friends and i was trying to point out that it wasn't fair that everyone was picking on her about her grammer. i think maybe the rules should be altered for some ppl. I know bad grammer isn't great to have to read through i just wish people would stop bugging people about it thats all. I know its the rules But i really think that it's not fair that some people who happen to be picky about grammer should drive people away from writing when there just trying write for fun. i would more appriciate it if those of you who as you said dont have time to read fics with bad grammer and spelling to just move on. One person who reviewed went as far as to tell her"hope you have fun failing english" that i consider an insult and basically calling her stupid. i appriciate your time and i once again apologize for what i said before.
Sincerely
Akasha014
i still support my crusade against those who take constructive critism too far...


My reply:
Oh, hey, no problem. The thing is, the rules are there for a reason. Are you aware of FFN's reputation as a repository of the most horrendous non-NC-17-rated badfic ever written? Part of the reason it has that reputation is, frankly, because of fics like this. I mean, there's "picky about grammar" (a friend of mine once had someone bust her chops for three misplaced commas in a several-thousand-words-long, multichaptered fic), and there's "holy cow, my eyes are bleeding!" Unfortunately, your friend's story falls in the latter category. I'm not trying to be mean...but if she wants readership (I'm assuming she does; we all do), she's going to have to do better than that. Chances are, most people who came across it hit the back button without reviewing once they saw the mess of that first paragraph, because it looked like she's not even trying. I'm not saying she's NOT trying, just that it LOOKS that way to a casual observer.

And the thing is, a lot of people won't leave crit at all unless they feel the story has potential--for precisely the reason that crit gets misconstrued as flames and whined about. And for her to slag off on the people who tried to gently steer her toward the F7 key was rude and uncalled for--and it's why she got people slagging her back on her review board. I'd sell my left boob to get concrit. If someone tells me my characterization is off or my POV could use some work, I sit up and take notice, because I want to get better as a writer. I love telling stories, and I want people to read them...and MORE people will read them if my mechanics are good. That's just a fact of life.

If she really wants to write, nothing in the world will stop her. "Fairness" has nothing to do with anything at all when it comes to writing. One of my favorite stories I've ever written is getting no love whatsoever (no reviews and less than 200 looks since April), while another that I don't think is as good got nominated for an award. Is that fair? No, but that's life. And Xing isn't going to change the rules anytime soon...not for her, not for you--not even for me and the fics I have song lyrics in, that I took down voluntarily because they violated the rules.

She has several options. She can get a beta. She can find her F7 key. She can get a book on grammar and study it. She can go to a site like LiveJournal, which has no rules as far as fanfiction or anything else goes, and post her fic there, telling everyone who cares where her new repository is. Or she can take her toys and go home and never put hand to keyboard again. Which would be sad.

Frankly, if it was me getting reviews like that, I'd cry, sure...and then I'd take a good hard look at my fic. And then I'd vow "I'll show them! I'll write the awesomist fic ever!" I'd make sure that no one could criticize my grammar or spelling, I'd get someone I trusted to be harsh (I bet her English teacher would LOVE to look at it for her, or there are crit communities on LiveJournal), and I'd take my time to get it just right. Nothing says that the thing has to be posted hot off the presses; in fact, it's usually better to let it sit at least overnight and then take a fresh look at it. I mean, we all write "for fun;" none of us are getting paid...but we want it to be GOOD, right?

Heh. I don't know if you'll even pass any of this on to her...but it's advice I follow myself. You should see some of the reviews I got for my first fic. But they helped me be a better writer, and even though some of them were harsh, I *learned* from them. And I've come miles since then. Posting fic in a place like FFN has advantages and disadvantages. You have to take the bad reviews with the good ones, but a lot of people are willing to help if asked. And if you're posting just for "fun"...well, then, it shouldn't matter what the negative reviewers say, right? She had fun writing it, the people who like it had fun reading it, and the negative crit can just roll off her back.

Regards,

agilebrit
agilebrit: (Default)
im very sorry about my outburst. I am very protective of my friends and i was trying to point out that it wasn't fair that everyone was picking on her about her grammer. i think maybe the rules should be altered for some ppl. I know bad grammer isn't great to have to read through i just wish people would stop bugging people about it thats all. I know its the rules But i really think that it's not fair that some people who happen to be picky about grammer should drive people away from writing when there just trying write for fun. i would more appriciate it if those of you who as you said dont have time to read fics with bad grammer and spelling to just move on. One person who reviewed went as far as to tell her"hope you have fun failing english" that i consider an insult and basically calling her stupid. i appriciate your time and i once again apologize for what i said before.
Sincerely
Akasha014
i still support my crusade against those who take constructive critism too far...


My reply:
Oh, hey, no problem. The thing is, the rules are there for a reason. Are you aware of FFN's reputation as a repository of the most horrendous non-NC-17-rated badfic ever written? Part of the reason it has that reputation is, frankly, because of fics like this. I mean, there's "picky about grammar" (a friend of mine once had someone bust her chops for three misplaced commas in a several-thousand-words-long, multichaptered fic), and there's "holy cow, my eyes are bleeding!" Unfortunately, your friend's story falls in the latter category. I'm not trying to be mean...but if she wants readership (I'm assuming she does; we all do), she's going to have to do better than that. Chances are, most people who came across it hit the back button without reviewing once they saw the mess of that first paragraph, because it looked like she's not even trying. I'm not saying she's NOT trying, just that it LOOKS that way to a casual observer.

And the thing is, a lot of people won't leave crit at all unless they feel the story has potential--for precisely the reason that crit gets misconstrued as flames and whined about. And for her to slag off on the people who tried to gently steer her toward the F7 key was rude and uncalled for--and it's why she got people slagging her back on her review board. I'd sell my left boob to get concrit. If someone tells me my characterization is off or my POV could use some work, I sit up and take notice, because I want to get better as a writer. I love telling stories, and I want people to read them...and MORE people will read them if my mechanics are good. That's just a fact of life.

If she really wants to write, nothing in the world will stop her. "Fairness" has nothing to do with anything at all when it comes to writing. One of my favorite stories I've ever written is getting no love whatsoever (no reviews and less than 200 looks since April), while another that I don't think is as good got nominated for an award. Is that fair? No, but that's life. And Xing isn't going to change the rules anytime soon...not for her, not for you--not even for me and the fics I have song lyrics in, that I took down voluntarily because they violated the rules.

She has several options. She can get a beta. She can find her F7 key. She can get a book on grammar and study it. She can go to a site like LiveJournal, which has no rules as far as fanfiction or anything else goes, and post her fic there, telling everyone who cares where her new repository is. Or she can take her toys and go home and never put hand to keyboard again. Which would be sad.

Frankly, if it was me getting reviews like that, I'd cry, sure...and then I'd take a good hard look at my fic. And then I'd vow "I'll show them! I'll write the awesomist fic ever!" I'd make sure that no one could criticize my grammar or spelling, I'd get someone I trusted to be harsh (I bet her English teacher would LOVE to look at it for her, or there are crit communities on LiveJournal), and I'd take my time to get it just right. Nothing says that the thing has to be posted hot off the presses; in fact, it's usually better to let it sit at least overnight and then take a fresh look at it. I mean, we all write "for fun;" none of us are getting paid...but we want it to be GOOD, right?

Heh. I don't know if you'll even pass any of this on to her...but it's advice I follow myself. You should see some of the reviews I got for my first fic. But they helped me be a better writer, and even though some of them were harsh, I *learned* from them. And I've come miles since then. Posting fic in a place like FFN has advantages and disadvantages. You have to take the bad reviews with the good ones, but a lot of people are willing to help if asked. And if you're posting just for "fun"...well, then, it shouldn't matter what the negative reviewers say, right? She had fun writing it, the people who like it had fun reading it, and the negative crit can just roll off her back.

Regards,

agilebrit
agilebrit: (Zoe On Crack)
Got an email in my inbox from the whiny author's friend. Heh.

i'm a fellow writer on fanfiction.net. I have to have a few words with you.
its about the review you gave amyrose300.
you and many others are going beyond constructive critism. Your basically insulting her intellegance and harassing her to the point where she wont write anymore and i do not thing thats fair at all! she loves writing and you ppl who like to take your constructive critism too far because you dont have a life are just complete assholes! have you read through her reviews? there are alot of ppl who like her stories and dont care about bad grammer or spelling cause there smart enough to figure it out. i think if you dont like it then you should just move on and you and others should leave her alone. if your too dumb to figure it out then your nto smart enough to read. The rules say
No one is perfect but it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability. She doenst have time to grammer check and crap and at least she trys her best to fix it.

your friend
Akasha014
THE CRUSADE AGAINST PPL WHO TAKE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISM TOO FAR!!!!


My reply:
Hello, Candace. You seem to be misconstruing the review function at FFN. Right there in the little box, whenever you go to leave a review, it says, "It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved. A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding tool for the writer." Sad to say, your friend apparently has no grasp whatsoever of basic grammar. And this probably isn't her fault, considering the state of schools these days. But if she can't even be asked to run a simple spell check, and is very rude to people who call her on it...well. There's no rule that says I have to leave a fawning review on a fic that ignores not only the rules of the English language, but of the site she's posting it on as well.

I never called her stupid. In fact, no one called her stupid. Those reviews were not flames. A flame is when someone says "You suck! You should never put hand to keyboard again! I hope you die!" I simply informed her of the rules of FFN. If a lot of people like her stories and don't care about the grammar (which I find sad, but okay, that's their deal, if they want to slog through it), then maybe she should listen to them and not to those of us who DO care. But if a simple statement of "This is the rule at FFN, and you're in violation of it" is enough to make her stop writing, then she really needs to grow a thicker skin.

She doesn't have TIME to hit the F7 key? Well, maybe if I made that many spelling errors I wouldn't "have time" to fix them all either. But she's had offers right on that review board to beta her fic--and she needs one, badly. Of course, no one's perfect. I'm not asking for perfection. We all make mistakes. But when Every. Single. Sentence in the very first paragraph has *multiple* errors...I'm surprised, frankly, that she hasn't gotten more negative reviews than she has. If she loves writing so much, then she needs to learn sooner rather than later that respect for the language is one of the fundamental elements of writing. Spewing a story onto a screen isn't "writing." Real writing takes time (which she apparently doesn't have), effort, and care.

If all the folks who like the fic are "smart enough to figure it out," more power to them. She lost me in the first paragraph because, frankly, I *do* have a life, and my valuable time is better spent reading fics that have proper grammar and spelling and don't abuse my eyes. The only reason I left a review in the first place was because of the little hissy fit she threw in the author's notes slagging on some of the folks who were nice enough (cared enough!) to give her some concrit. Does she realize what a precious commodity concrit is? Probably not. But the person who did a line by line beta of one of her chapters went above and beyond the call of duty, and I applaud that person.

Well, this went on for way longer than I intended. I wish you and your friend the best, really I do. But, one more word of (unasked for) advice (which will probably be ignored): When people try to help you, calling them "stupid bastards with no lives" is probably a bad move.

Regards,

agilebrit


Why am I prolonging the drama? Because I'm bored, and I can. *snicker*
agilebrit: (Zoe On Crack)
Got an email in my inbox from the whiny author's friend. Heh.

i'm a fellow writer on fanfiction.net. I have to have a few words with you.
its about the review you gave amyrose300.
you and many others are going beyond constructive critism. Your basically insulting her intellegance and harassing her to the point where she wont write anymore and i do not thing thats fair at all! she loves writing and you ppl who like to take your constructive critism too far because you dont have a life are just complete assholes! have you read through her reviews? there are alot of ppl who like her stories and dont care about bad grammer or spelling cause there smart enough to figure it out. i think if you dont like it then you should just move on and you and others should leave her alone. if your too dumb to figure it out then your nto smart enough to read. The rules say
No one is perfect but it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability. She doenst have time to grammer check and crap and at least she trys her best to fix it.

your friend
Akasha014
THE CRUSADE AGAINST PPL WHO TAKE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISM TOO FAR!!!!


My reply:
Hello, Candace. You seem to be misconstruing the review function at FFN. Right there in the little box, whenever you go to leave a review, it says, "It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved. A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding tool for the writer." Sad to say, your friend apparently has no grasp whatsoever of basic grammar. And this probably isn't her fault, considering the state of schools these days. But if she can't even be asked to run a simple spell check, and is very rude to people who call her on it...well. There's no rule that says I have to leave a fawning review on a fic that ignores not only the rules of the English language, but of the site she's posting it on as well.

I never called her stupid. In fact, no one called her stupid. Those reviews were not flames. A flame is when someone says "You suck! You should never put hand to keyboard again! I hope you die!" I simply informed her of the rules of FFN. If a lot of people like her stories and don't care about the grammar (which I find sad, but okay, that's their deal, if they want to slog through it), then maybe she should listen to them and not to those of us who DO care. But if a simple statement of "This is the rule at FFN, and you're in violation of it" is enough to make her stop writing, then she really needs to grow a thicker skin.

She doesn't have TIME to hit the F7 key? Well, maybe if I made that many spelling errors I wouldn't "have time" to fix them all either. But she's had offers right on that review board to beta her fic--and she needs one, badly. Of course, no one's perfect. I'm not asking for perfection. We all make mistakes. But when Every. Single. Sentence in the very first paragraph has *multiple* errors...I'm surprised, frankly, that she hasn't gotten more negative reviews than she has. If she loves writing so much, then she needs to learn sooner rather than later that respect for the language is one of the fundamental elements of writing. Spewing a story onto a screen isn't "writing." Real writing takes time (which she apparently doesn't have), effort, and care.

If all the folks who like the fic are "smart enough to figure it out," more power to them. She lost me in the first paragraph because, frankly, I *do* have a life, and my valuable time is better spent reading fics that have proper grammar and spelling and don't abuse my eyes. The only reason I left a review in the first place was because of the little hissy fit she threw in the author's notes slagging on some of the folks who were nice enough (cared enough!) to give her some concrit. Does she realize what a precious commodity concrit is? Probably not. But the person who did a line by line beta of one of her chapters went above and beyond the call of duty, and I applaud that person.

Well, this went on for way longer than I intended. I wish you and your friend the best, really I do. But, one more word of (unasked for) advice (which will probably be ignored): When people try to help you, calling them "stupid bastards with no lives" is probably a bad move.

Regards,

agilebrit


Why am I prolonging the drama? Because I'm bored, and I can. *snicker*
agilebrit: (Default)
So here's an update to my earlier post about the badfic author:

She's taking her toys and going home. Poor thing. I feel like leaving another review to her whiny little rant, but that seems too much like piling on, so I will resist the tempatation mightily.

However, she seems to have misconstrued the purpose of the review function. It says right there in the box, every time you click the button: It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved. A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding tool for the writer. We aren't here to stroke your fragile little ego, chica. I'm not going to fawn all over a badly-written, unspellchecked, thrown-together piece of crap. If you're not even going to make the effort to hit the F7 key, you're lucky you didn't get toasted worse than you did.
agilebrit: (Default)
So here's an update to my earlier post about the badfic author:

She's taking her toys and going home. Poor thing. I feel like leaving another review to her whiny little rant, but that seems too much like piling on, so I will resist the tempatation mightily.

However, she seems to have misconstrued the purpose of the review function. It says right there in the box, every time you click the button: It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved. A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding tool for the writer. We aren't here to stroke your fragile little ego, chica. I'm not going to fawn all over a badly-written, unspellchecked, thrown-together piece of crap. If you're not even going to make the effort to hit the F7 key, you're lucky you didn't get toasted worse than you did.
agilebrit: (Zoe On Crack)
Found this appalling mess via [livejournal.com profile] fanficrants. Dude, it's not even my fandom, and I felt compelled to leave a review with my sock account, because the author's attitude just frosts me.

Here's the first paragraph of the fic:
A loud crash was heard with a snap to go with it. Laying in the rain blood from where the shining white wing was beside him blood ran from the bone that tore through his wing. His vilote eye's looked to the sky seeing the ones after him the ones wanting to hurt him the ones who did this to him. His clothes where torn off to the point of being almost nude. He whimpered at all the bruses cuts scrpas and broken bones he got. Looking to the sky again he saw no more of them flying letting out sobs of pain he couldn't take it anymore he wouldn't live if they found him again. What was he suppouse to do? his wing was broken his legs where to stiff and to top it off the bleeding wouldn't stop

Yeah, she left off that final period herself. She's made an error in every single sentence (with the possible exception of the first one, although it's awkward as hell). Now, if she was polite to people who told her that her spelling, grammar, and punctuation could use some work, that would be one thing. But no:

Author Note #1: as for the rest of you I don't need help with Grammar I can write MY story anyway I want you just telling me my plot sucks (-Cookie- Tohma 911)my spelling sucks (again Cookie) you just make me wanna stop, No Maximum Poofy Commas are not my friends, Penguinie I can spell anything the way I want it's my fic my grammar is fine to me thats all that matters.

Author Note #2: I wnana do a kinky sex part O-o next chapt or something I am sure anyways NO FLAMES and I don't want someone telling me "Spelling bad grammar bad" I don't care! ha! hahahahahahahahaha!

Kinky sex? She's fifteen, according to her profile. I hope she doesn't know anything about kinky sex. And even if she does, it'll be badly written kinky sex. *checks* Um, yeah. She's got an mpreg fic, and she makes it a point that no lube is involved. Can I just say "OW"? Even I (the non-slasher extraordinaire) know enough to know that no lube + anal sex - any preparation whatsoever = blood + pain.

These aren't even my fandoms, but the abuse of the English language (not to mention the abuse of basic biology) just makes me fume.

So, I left her a review:
You are aware, are you not, that this site has certain rules that you agree to when you upload stories here? You can say "I can spell anything the way I want it's my fic my grammar is fine to me thats all that matters," but that's not so at all. There's a cute little button down at the bottom of the page that says "Report abuse," and one of the reportable abuses is "Disregard for proper language: grammar, spelling, punctuation, and etc." The F7 key is your friend. If you're writing this in a text document with no spell check, there are online spell checkers, or you can download OpenOffice from FFN itself. Honestly, there is no excuse for the appalling grammar, punctuation, and spelling in this. EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE in your very first paragraph has multiple errors. And if you're too much of a brat to try to have some respect for the language you're mangling, then that "Report abuse" button is just a click away. I haven't used it yet, but I'd be surprised if someone hadn't already.

She'll probably respond in her standard way, but hopefully the mention of the "Report abuse" button will make her sit up and take notice.
agilebrit: (Zoe On Crack)
Found this appalling mess via [livejournal.com profile] fanficrants. Dude, it's not even my fandom, and I felt compelled to leave a review with my sock account, because the author's attitude just frosts me.

Here's the first paragraph of the fic:
A loud crash was heard with a snap to go with it. Laying in the rain blood from where the shining white wing was beside him blood ran from the bone that tore through his wing. His vilote eye's looked to the sky seeing the ones after him the ones wanting to hurt him the ones who did this to him. His clothes where torn off to the point of being almost nude. He whimpered at all the bruses cuts scrpas and broken bones he got. Looking to the sky again he saw no more of them flying letting out sobs of pain he couldn't take it anymore he wouldn't live if they found him again. What was he suppouse to do? his wing was broken his legs where to stiff and to top it off the bleeding wouldn't stop

Yeah, she left off that final period herself. She's made an error in every single sentence (with the possible exception of the first one, although it's awkward as hell). Now, if she was polite to people who told her that her spelling, grammar, and punctuation could use some work, that would be one thing. But no:

Author Note #1: as for the rest of you I don't need help with Grammar I can write MY story anyway I want you just telling me my plot sucks (-Cookie- Tohma 911)my spelling sucks (again Cookie) you just make me wanna stop, No Maximum Poofy Commas are not my friends, Penguinie I can spell anything the way I want it's my fic my grammar is fine to me thats all that matters.

Author Note #2: I wnana do a kinky sex part O-o next chapt or something I am sure anyways NO FLAMES and I don't want someone telling me "Spelling bad grammar bad" I don't care! ha! hahahahahahahahaha!

Kinky sex? She's fifteen, according to her profile. I hope she doesn't know anything about kinky sex. And even if she does, it'll be badly written kinky sex. *checks* Um, yeah. She's got an mpreg fic, and she makes it a point that no lube is involved. Can I just say "OW"? Even I (the non-slasher extraordinaire) know enough to know that no lube + anal sex - any preparation whatsoever = blood + pain.

These aren't even my fandoms, but the abuse of the English language (not to mention the abuse of basic biology) just makes me fume.

So, I left her a review:
You are aware, are you not, that this site has certain rules that you agree to when you upload stories here? You can say "I can spell anything the way I want it's my fic my grammar is fine to me thats all that matters," but that's not so at all. There's a cute little button down at the bottom of the page that says "Report abuse," and one of the reportable abuses is "Disregard for proper language: grammar, spelling, punctuation, and etc." The F7 key is your friend. If you're writing this in a text document with no spell check, there are online spell checkers, or you can download OpenOffice from FFN itself. Honestly, there is no excuse for the appalling grammar, punctuation, and spelling in this. EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE in your very first paragraph has multiple errors. And if you're too much of a brat to try to have some respect for the language you're mangling, then that "Report abuse" button is just a click away. I haven't used it yet, but I'd be surprised if someone hadn't already.

She'll probably respond in her standard way, but hopefully the mention of the "Report abuse" button will make her sit up and take notice.
agilebrit: (Zoe On Crack)
Yeah, I finally got a sockpuppet account at FFN for the *cough* less-than-flattering *cough* reviews I feel compelled to leave for dreck like this. Click the link; share my pain. It's not even my fandom. But with a summary like "just read and review" (just like that; no caps or punctuation) I couldn't help but check it out. And now my eyes are bleeding and my poor husband is scraping my brains off the wall because they exploded at the non-existent logic.

My review:

Please tell me this is a troll. You misspelled the second WORD in this story...and it's not a hard word. Proofreading is your friend. So is the spellcheck. So is a harsh beta reader. A beta reader would have corrected such simple errors as "madder" for "matter" and "kneals" for "kneels." You shift tenses all over the place. Pick one, present or past. And FYI, scriptfics are a no-no on this site. So is rating a story with that many swear words in it a "K." Your commas are either misplaced or not used at all where they're supposed to be, and what's up with using an apostrophe for a plural? "Throw's"? "Shoot's"? Um, no.

That's just your mechanics. Logic went "boom" when Elliot blamed Olivia for his wife being a cow and wanting a divorce because of some imagined affair. Why would he blame Olivia for that? And then shoot her? Man, any hope of patching things up with Kathy went right out the window when he did THAT.

In short, proofread, rate your fic properly, think your plot through logically, and get a beta reader. Please.


Guess I have a reason to check that inbox from now on. *grins evilly*
agilebrit: (Zoe On Crack)
Yeah, I finally got a sockpuppet account at FFN for the *cough* less-than-flattering *cough* reviews I feel compelled to leave for dreck like this. Click the link; share my pain. It's not even my fandom. But with a summary like "just read and review" (just like that; no caps or punctuation) I couldn't help but check it out. And now my eyes are bleeding and my poor husband is scraping my brains off the wall because they exploded at the non-existent logic.

My review:

Please tell me this is a troll. You misspelled the second WORD in this story...and it's not a hard word. Proofreading is your friend. So is the spellcheck. So is a harsh beta reader. A beta reader would have corrected such simple errors as "madder" for "matter" and "kneals" for "kneels." You shift tenses all over the place. Pick one, present or past. And FYI, scriptfics are a no-no on this site. So is rating a story with that many swear words in it a "K." Your commas are either misplaced or not used at all where they're supposed to be, and what's up with using an apostrophe for a plural? "Throw's"? "Shoot's"? Um, no.

That's just your mechanics. Logic went "boom" when Elliot blamed Olivia for his wife being a cow and wanting a divorce because of some imagined affair. Why would he blame Olivia for that? And then shoot her? Man, any hope of patching things up with Kathy went right out the window when he did THAT.

In short, proofread, rate your fic properly, think your plot through logically, and get a beta reader. Please.


Guess I have a reason to check that inbox from now on. *grins evilly*

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