And another email:
Sep. 26th, 2005 09:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
agilebritim very sorry about my outburst. I am very protective of my friends and i was trying to point out that it wasn't fair that everyone was picking on her about her grammer. i think maybe the rules should be altered for some ppl. I know bad grammer isn't great to have to read through i just wish people would stop bugging people about it thats all. I know its the rules But i really think that it's not fair that some people who happen to be picky about grammer should drive people away from writing when there just trying write for fun. i would more appriciate it if those of you who as you said dont have time to read fics with bad grammer and spelling to just move on. One person who reviewed went as far as to tell her"hope you have fun failing english" that i consider an insult and basically calling her stupid. i appriciate your time and i once again apologize for what i said before.
Sincerely
Akasha014
i still support my crusade against those who take constructive critism too far...
My reply:
Oh, hey, no problem. The thing is, the rules are there for a reason. Are you aware of FFN's reputation as a repository of the most horrendous non-NC-17-rated badfic ever written? Part of the reason it has that reputation is, frankly, because of fics like this. I mean, there's "picky about grammar" (a friend of mine once had someone bust her chops for three misplaced commas in a several-thousand-words-long, multichaptered fic), and there's "holy cow, my eyes are bleeding!" Unfortunately, your friend's story falls in the latter category. I'm not trying to be mean...but if she wants readership (I'm assuming she does; we all do), she's going to have to do better than that. Chances are, most people who came across it hit the back button without reviewing once they saw the mess of that first paragraph, because it looked like she's not even trying. I'm not saying she's NOT trying, just that it LOOKS that way to a casual observer.
And the thing is, a lot of people won't leave crit at all unless they feel the story has potential--for precisely the reason that crit gets misconstrued as flames and whined about. And for her to slag off on the people who tried to gently steer her toward the F7 key was rude and uncalled for--and it's why she got people slagging her back on her review board. I'd sell my left boob to get concrit. If someone tells me my characterization is off or my POV could use some work, I sit up and take notice, because I want to get better as a writer. I love telling stories, and I want people to read them...and MORE people will read them if my mechanics are good. That's just a fact of life.
If she really wants to write, nothing in the world will stop her. "Fairness" has nothing to do with anything at all when it comes to writing. One of my favorite stories I've ever written is getting no love whatsoever (no reviews and less than 200 looks since April), while another that I don't think is as good got nominated for an award. Is that fair? No, but that's life. And Xing isn't going to change the rules anytime soon...not for her, not for you--not even for me and the fics I have song lyrics in, that I took down voluntarily because they violated the rules.
She has several options. She can get a beta. She can find her F7 key. She can get a book on grammar and study it. She can go to a site like LiveJournal, which has no rules as far as fanfiction or anything else goes, and post her fic there, telling everyone who cares where her new repository is. Or she can take her toys and go home and never put hand to keyboard again. Which would be sad.
Frankly, if it was me getting reviews like that, I'd cry, sure...and then I'd take a good hard look at my fic. And then I'd vow "I'll show them! I'll write the awesomist fic ever!" I'd make sure that no one could criticize my grammar or spelling, I'd get someone I trusted to be harsh (I bet her English teacher would LOVE to look at it for her, or there are crit communities on LiveJournal), and I'd take my time to get it just right. Nothing says that the thing has to be posted hot off the presses; in fact, it's usually better to let it sit at least overnight and then take a fresh look at it. I mean, we all write "for fun;" none of us are getting paid...but we want it to be GOOD, right?
Heh. I don't know if you'll even pass any of this on to her...but it's advice I follow myself. You should see some of the reviews I got for my first fic. But they helped me be a better writer, and even though some of them were harsh, I *learned* from them. And I've come miles since then. Posting fic in a place like FFN has advantages and disadvantages. You have to take the bad reviews with the good ones, but a lot of people are willing to help if asked. And if you're posting just for "fun"...well, then, it shouldn't matter what the negative reviewers say, right? She had fun writing it, the people who like it had fun reading it, and the negative crit can just roll off her back.
Regards,
agilebrit
Sincerely
Akasha014
i still support my crusade against those who take constructive critism too far...
My reply:
Oh, hey, no problem. The thing is, the rules are there for a reason. Are you aware of FFN's reputation as a repository of the most horrendous non-NC-17-rated badfic ever written? Part of the reason it has that reputation is, frankly, because of fics like this. I mean, there's "picky about grammar" (a friend of mine once had someone bust her chops for three misplaced commas in a several-thousand-words-long, multichaptered fic), and there's "holy cow, my eyes are bleeding!" Unfortunately, your friend's story falls in the latter category. I'm not trying to be mean...but if she wants readership (I'm assuming she does; we all do), she's going to have to do better than that. Chances are, most people who came across it hit the back button without reviewing once they saw the mess of that first paragraph, because it looked like she's not even trying. I'm not saying she's NOT trying, just that it LOOKS that way to a casual observer.
And the thing is, a lot of people won't leave crit at all unless they feel the story has potential--for precisely the reason that crit gets misconstrued as flames and whined about. And for her to slag off on the people who tried to gently steer her toward the F7 key was rude and uncalled for--and it's why she got people slagging her back on her review board. I'd sell my left boob to get concrit. If someone tells me my characterization is off or my POV could use some work, I sit up and take notice, because I want to get better as a writer. I love telling stories, and I want people to read them...and MORE people will read them if my mechanics are good. That's just a fact of life.
If she really wants to write, nothing in the world will stop her. "Fairness" has nothing to do with anything at all when it comes to writing. One of my favorite stories I've ever written is getting no love whatsoever (no reviews and less than 200 looks since April), while another that I don't think is as good got nominated for an award. Is that fair? No, but that's life. And Xing isn't going to change the rules anytime soon...not for her, not for you--not even for me and the fics I have song lyrics in, that I took down voluntarily because they violated the rules.
She has several options. She can get a beta. She can find her F7 key. She can get a book on grammar and study it. She can go to a site like LiveJournal, which has no rules as far as fanfiction or anything else goes, and post her fic there, telling everyone who cares where her new repository is. Or she can take her toys and go home and never put hand to keyboard again. Which would be sad.
Frankly, if it was me getting reviews like that, I'd cry, sure...and then I'd take a good hard look at my fic. And then I'd vow "I'll show them! I'll write the awesomist fic ever!" I'd make sure that no one could criticize my grammar or spelling, I'd get someone I trusted to be harsh (I bet her English teacher would LOVE to look at it for her, or there are crit communities on LiveJournal), and I'd take my time to get it just right. Nothing says that the thing has to be posted hot off the presses; in fact, it's usually better to let it sit at least overnight and then take a fresh look at it. I mean, we all write "for fun;" none of us are getting paid...but we want it to be GOOD, right?
Heh. I don't know if you'll even pass any of this on to her...but it's advice I follow myself. You should see some of the reviews I got for my first fic. But they helped me be a better writer, and even though some of them were harsh, I *learned* from them. And I've come miles since then. Posting fic in a place like FFN has advantages and disadvantages. You have to take the bad reviews with the good ones, but a lot of people are willing to help if asked. And if you're posting just for "fun"...well, then, it shouldn't matter what the negative reviewers say, right? She had fun writing it, the people who like it had fun reading it, and the negative crit can just roll off her back.
Regards,
agilebrit
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 04:09 am (UTC)Not the right?
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Date: 2005-09-27 04:17 am (UTC)Did I just say that?
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Date: 2005-09-27 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 05:40 am (UTC)On the other hand, over the last year she's written four or five other efforts (I won't call them 'stories') so the "physical / cognitive therapy" concept wears a bit thin...
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Date: 2005-09-27 05:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 05:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 05:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 05:54 am (UTC)Holy Toast, this girl is a terrible writer.
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Date: 2005-09-27 05:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 06:05 am (UTC)Pfft. Kids.
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Date: 2005-09-27 06:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-28 01:24 am (UTC)I didn't bother responding. Stupid trolls.
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Date: 2005-09-27 05:19 pm (UTC)That fic is quite horrendous.
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Date: 2005-09-27 05:51 pm (UTC)I just counted 28 errors in the very first paragraph of this sad excuse for a fic. And the rest is worse. Dear Lord.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 06:27 pm (UTC)Okay, this is your first paragraph of your first chapter:
A loud crash was heard with a snap to go with it. Laying in the rain blood from where the shining white wing was beside him blood ran from the bone that tore through his wing. His vilote eye's looked to the sky seeing the ones after him the ones wanting to hurt him the ones who did this to him. His clothes where torn off to the point of being almost nude. He whimpered at all the bruses cuts scrpas and broken bones he got. Looking to the sky again he saw no more of them flying letting out sobs of pain he couldn't take it anymore he wouldn't live if they found him again. What was he suppouse to do? his wing was broken his legs where to stiff and to top it off the bleeding wouldn't stop
Now, I decided to go through to try to correct all your mistakes. Not an easy task, since you not only have multiple mistakes per sentence, sometimes you have multiple mistakes per WORD. Also, you never actually say who the hell you're talking about. Just the "shining white wing beside him," without ever mentioning who "he" was. Not even a "young boy" or "male in his twenties." Some description of the character is necessary, otherwise the story falls apart on page one. And, in fact, this is the least of your problems, considering that even without a character description, the paragraph above is nearly incomprehensible. So allow me to do some creative editing and rewriting:
A loud crashing and snapping sound was heard. Lying in the rain, blood pouring from the white wing coming from his back, was a man. A bone from one of his wings was exposed and blood ran down it. His violet eyes turned towards the sky, searching for the people who were after him, the people who wanted to hurt him, the people who had already hurt him. His clothes were torn off and he was almost nude. He whimpered with all his bruises and cuts and scrapes and broken bones. Looking to the sky again, he saw no sight of the people who had done this to him. He couldn't take it anymore. He wouldn't live if they found him again. What was he supposed to do? His wing was broken and his legs were stiff and to top it off, the bleeding wouldn't stop.
See the difference? My version has good grammer, spelling, and punctuation. See how this helps? My version is much clearer than yours.
Get help. Get a beta. Get a spellchecker. Seriously, I wrote better when I was fifteen. Heck, I wrote better when I was twelve. This story could be much better. Now, all it is is unreadable.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 06:39 pm (UTC)I would have rewritten it this way:
The man slammed into the ground with a crash and a snap. He lay in the rain, blood pouring from the exposed bone of his left [or right, whichever] wing and staining the white feathers crimson.
Not that I've thought about it or anything. LOL
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Date: 2005-09-27 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 06:58 pm (UTC)The man slammed into the ground from an impossible height, and white-hot pain blossomed through him as he felt, rather than heard, a horrific "snap." He lay in the rain, blood pouring from the exposed bone of his shattered left wing and staining the white feathers crimson.
*eyeshift* Why, no, I'm not OCD. Really.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 07:43 pm (UTC)