Arrant Nonsense

Honestly, the first pinch could actually be the Inciting Incident. Hell, I could probably get a novel out of this Big Idea too. Because--looking at the characters and plot of the story--it actually is kind of a Big Idea.

Thing is, I don't want to write a novel. I have two of those on my plate already, one of which I'm definitely getting to when the shorts are out of the way. The other one is just... scary. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it yet. It's sort of done, but it needs extensive filler work and a lot of whacking.

*wrenches self back on topic* Anyway. Point is, I could make this story a lot longer than my current outline will do. But I'm not going to, because shorter is better. I have an 8K limit, and I may or may not fill all of that.

In the meantime, I'll sit down and write it, and see if I think it needs More once I've got an END at the bottom.

Also, I'm seriously considering having them put "That Werewolf Writer" on my badge at conventions under my name. It seems fitting.

Once I finish this ridiculous project, I will, of course, begin edits. This goes without saying.

However, thanks to the Writing Excuses Retreat, I think I may have a way of salvaging the new Ben & Janni story. Yes, that one, the one I vowed would never see the light of day. It may need to be split into two novels, but I will know more once I actually outline all the character arcs separately in the thing.

I'll be real honest here: I did not have the chops to write this story when I started writing it. There's good stuff here, but it's buried under the wreckage of its broken structure. But now, I think I might. I at least have the knowledge to know what I need to do to make it actually viable. This is a step in the right direction. I know now what I didn't know then.

And since I'll have at least thirteen shorts under my belt on the year at the end of June, I don't feel bad about working on something that may or not bear fruit. I really do love this novel, and I would love to be able to tell an agent, yes, I have this one and also am working very hard on this second one, and also look at all this bonus material! I have enough bonus material to fill its own antho.

And, of course, if any anthologies have a call for subs in the next few months, I'll totally write stories for those as well.

It feels good to be back on track with this stuff. Very, very good.

Because I'm bored, and Ben is feeling neglected. Setup? You no can haz. Context is for the weak.

Ben chose that moment to come down the stairs, dressed in a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt, scrubbing his hand through his unruly hair. "No, I'm okay." He sat on the floor by Janni's raised feet, which made Alex frown. Usually Ben sat beside his wife, not on the rug.

"You've been run through twice with a silver sword, Master Ben," Chambliss said. "And ripped a man to shreds with, apparently, your bare hands. I'd venture to say that you're far from 'okay.'"

"I've been through worse," Ben said, resting his forehead on Janni's knee.

"Just because you've been through worse in the past doesn't mean that this event wasn't also traumatizing," Chambliss pointed out before Alex could.

"It's not the event itself. It's that I can't actually remember it that's got me freaking." The line of his shoulders told everyone in the room how tense Ben was. "I should remember something like that."

"It is possible, Master Ben, that your mind has become so overloaded with trauma that it's hiding things from you so you don't have to deal with them."

"Well, make it stop." Ben didn't lift his head. "Because that's freaking me out more."

Poor puppy.

Without further ado...

Janni had brought in a stack of his own clothes--a tank top, cotton boxers, and a pair of cargo shorts. And his wedding ring had pride of place, right on top. His knees went weak--weaker--and he grabbed it and held it against his chest like he'd never let it go, even as he sat abruptly on the toilet lid. She came to stand beside him, and he leaned on her, shaking a little because the shakes still hadn't let him go quite yet. "Omigod, honey."

She had a tremor of her own going. "I know."

"I wish...I wish I'd had it with me. Might've--" Might've held out longer, he decided not to say. Now was not the time to bring up what he'd done with Angeline, although he'd have to tell her sometime, sooner rather than later. He cringed, thinking about it, remembering the joking discussion about cheating the night he'd disappeared. Breathe, he reminded himself, and slid the ring on.

Continuation from last week? You no can haz. :p

I just figured out a plot point that's been bugging me in the new!Ben&Janni story.

I've got a guy with a sword stabbinating people late in the story, whom Ben finally kills violently and messily (without remembering he did it *evil laughter*). I had no idea who this guy was or what he was doing in the book, but now I do and it's a rather substantial load off my mind. He's a loyal family retainer who knows what Ben did to the villain's (twin) brother and son (in the previous book) and is willing to help him exact his vengeance.

Now I just have to figure out logistics. How did this guy find out that it was Ben that killed the brother? Considering the fact that Osteim just sort of "disappears" in the previous book after heading over to Alex's place, I need some way that he'd know what happened. Must noodle that a bit. But it's a start. At least I know who he is now.

So, Perez gives Ben's file to Alex when they hand Ben (who is unconscious and barely alive) off, at the rescue.

Of course, I have to decide just how detailed it is. Clearly, Ben's issues with authority (in general; the boy is a lot of things, but "cowed" isn't one of them, his penchant for panic attacks notwithstanding) and West (in particular), along with Perez being troubled over the nature of the relationship that Ben and Ange have, will be in there. The break-ins. What happens to Ben over the full moons. His escape attempt. Ange's circumventing the restraint rules.

But I'm not sure that Ange's capture and rape, or the whole thing with Fifi (which was a pretty major event for Ben, but not in The Great Scheme of Things), would necessarily make it into the file. Which would make it terribly incomplete, and it's going to be a subjective thing, as well as from a vampire felon's point of view, too.

So. Does Alex read it?

Does he give it to Janni? Does she read it?

Or do they wait and try to get the story out of Ben? Who is, by the way, notoriously closed-mouthed about his traumas. Even Janni's only had the highlight reel on Afghanistan, and no one knows about the heroin but her and Megan, not Alex and not Ben's boss. The only reason Ange knows everything is because she's actually guddled around inside his head and dug the info out, not because he actually told her anything.

Of course, this isn't the story I should be working on anyway. And if it was, it's not the part of the story I should be working on. I should be working on either Chains or my Writers of the Future entry. Undisciplined agilebrit is undisciplined.

*sigh* Someone just thwap me.

Without further ado, takes place after this. And, go:

"I take it your discussion didn't go very well." She gestured at his bleeding wrist.

"Your wolf is very resourceful and a deceptively fast and sneaky little bastard. But." Marco blew a breath out. "He's also controlling himself very very tightly. He could've hurt me. And he wanted to. But he didn't do it."

"You're bleeding."

"No, Angel, he could've hurt me."

Oh, god. "And?"

Marco shrugged. "I actually do feel better now. He cares about you."

"I could've told you that without you restraining him in a bloody cage." She put her hands on her hips. "Is he all right?"

"You should probably go to him. But, Angel? Be careful, okay?" He looked at her earnestly. "Because I don't see how he can keep this up for much longer."

Neither did she. But at least Marco's fears had been mostly laid to rest, she thought as she abandoned him in the hallway and rushed back into her apartment. She found Ben huddled in the back of the cage with one fist clenched against his sternum and the other arm over his head. The cuffs had been thrown into the corner. She fumbled with the lock and yanked the door open, dropping to her knees next to him. "Puppy?" She could hear his heart hammering, hard.

He moved so his head rested on her leg. "Is he pissed?"

"Not now." She moved the arm aside and petted his hair.

"That's something. I think I might have been less than diplomatic when I called him on his bullshit."

Ben going on the back burner lasted as long as I remembered that there was a point of my own canon that I needed to fix at the start of the thing. I managed to fix it (a wolfsbane net should be draped over someone lying on his back, not wrapped completely around his body, lest the part that is getting no light and squished in the bargain up and dies and dumps very many nasty toxins into that person's body, thus killing him much faster than you might want to, and boy is that sentence a mess, like I care), after much swearing and tearing out of hair. My canon is once again internally consistent, go, me.

And I have also realized that the (original) first part of the Chains story...doesn't actually work. A few days ago, I scribbled an actual beginning to the thing, and now the part that I scribbled before, which I thought was the beginning? Isn't, nor does it work. I can probably salvage pieces of it and finagle those in somehow, but I think my Captain of the Guards is going to morph into a Head of Protocol or something similar. Because my Master at Arms can do double duty as a Captain of the Guards (it's a small kingdom), and I need a Head of Protocol to deal with the fact that my Prince needs to get married.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I don't want this to turn into a novel. Novels are hard.

Even though Ben is a werewolf, with Amazing Lycanthrope Healing™, his body still needs resources in order to accomplish that healing. Therefore, after he's suffered a horrific physical trauma, the boy needs to eat.

Yes, this is me, reminding myself that my characters have physical requirements that have to be taken into account. Especially considering what happens in this scene, and what had been done to him before.

Without further ado:

Ben twitched awake with his head and upper body pillowed across Janni's thighs. He buried his nose into the spot just above her knees and inhaled deeply. "Oh, god, you smell good, honey," he said.

"Hey, sweetie." Her hand caressed his hair, and he basked in her presence. "How are you?"

"Still not dead. Doesn't hurt as much." Rafe stirred in the background. "Guess they just don't make bad guys they way they used to. Is there water?"

"Here." He rolled to his back. She held a bottle to his lips. "I'm glad to see your sarcasm circuits are still firing away," she said as he swallowed a few mouthfuls.

"They can have my sarcasm when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers. Which, apparently, won't be today." He pressed into her, and she squeezed him. "It's good to see you, honey." The shakes hit, then, and he reminded himself to breathe.

"We never stopped looking. Never."

He closed his eyes. "Glad one of us never gave up."

"Do you remember waking up before?" she asked.

"Maybe?" Something vague nibbled at the back of his mind--a nightmare wherein he'd died and gone to Hell, and a demon in Janni's form taunted him that he'd never see her or touch her again, because she'd never forgive him for what he'd done with--

"That redhead called you 'puppy.'" Janni's fingers traced a wolfsbane welt on his chest.

"Ange." Of course she had, in front of Janni. He'd have laughed, if he had anything to laugh with. "Yes. Yes, she did."

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