Arrant Nonsense

And so it is. Except when it's not, and you bounce things off another person...

And that other person comes up with an absolutely brilliant way to make the scene you were just tearing your hair out about actually work.

This right here is why my wonderful husband is getting the book dedication. He's not a writer, and not even really a reader (of fiction), but he can still come up with fixes for my knotty plot problems.

But before I get to that, I have a funny story. If you don't care about the funny story, just skip down to the bold part.

Remember this from ComicCon? Basically, Larry Correia being awesome and introducing me to Kevin J. Anderson and saying that not only would he blurb my book if they published it, but would also book bomb it?

Back up to the previous night.

Big group of us at dinner. Afterward, the party breaks up somewhat, and I'm outside shooting the breeze with the handsome and hard-working Peter Wacks, an acquisitions editor for WordFire Press. He's talking about his urban fantasy and how his werewolves work, and another of his authors is talking about his werewolves and how they work, and I think, Well, this is right in my wheelhouse, isn't it. No, it wasn't a question. I have a split second of hesitation, and then I think I should just go for it, because what do I have to lose, and say, "So, this is the part where I ask you what your acquisitions process is."

Peter says, "Pitch me your book."

I freeze.

For about five seconds. Sooo was not ready for that. BUT. I do have an elevator pitch, and I sputter while desperately dragging it to the forefront of my mind where I can, you know, actually use it. I put on my best radio announcer voice and say "A private eye with PTSD--"

And Peter says, "Stop. Send me a chapter. Doesn't matter which one."

Turns out that he was a private eye for a year while doing research for a novel, and he works closely with a PTSD charity. I knew neither of these facts, but I managed to hit two of his sweet spots in five words. As they say in the business: SCORE.

The thing with Larry happened the next day. After the event was over, I sent Peter the chapter he requested. Chapter One, because that's where I set up all the dominoes, and if he doesn't want to read farther after that, well, I don't deserve to be published because I haven't done my job of hooking the reader.

Couple of weeks went by, and I hear from Peter again. "I like your style; send me an outline for the rest of the book."

So I do. This was... October? By then? And then there's radio silence. For months. Until I hear from a mutual friend, "Peter wants to talk to you at either FanX or LTUE." Pins and needles commence. And, of course WordFire didn't come to the FanX because Reasons. But LTUE was two weeks later, which doesn't seem like long, but by the time it rolled around, I was absolutely screaming inside.

Peter and I made an appointment for 7:15pm on February 12. "Walk with me," says he, and we head over to the Indian restaurant. He sends Alexi Vanderberg off ahead of us, and then says "We've all talked it over, and we'd like to offer you a novel contract."

I'm pretty sure I made a noise only dogs could hear, but Alexi later told me "I thought you tripped or ran into something because I heard you make a noise, and then I realized, oh, he must have told her." LOL

I now have a signed contract in my hand. We're looking toward a release in time for SLComicCon so I can hand a copy to Jim Butcher and tell him "thank you"--which is lightning-fast. I just hope my editor doesn't think it's egregiously awful.

I've been sitting on this news since February. You might have noticed I was a bit sneaky in the entry where I announced the re-sale of the dragons-in-space story, where I said I hadn't had a short fiction sale since October. Well. "Short" was the operative word there. ;)

So. On the strength of a pitch, a first chapter, an outline, and Larry Correia saying that I'm awesome...

I have a book deal.

FRIENDS. DO THE DANCE OF JOY WITH ME.

When I wrote the novelthing, I did it completely by the seat of my pants. The structure was pure instinct, and very little in the way of notes ever got written down or saved. So when I needed the synopsis, I went through it and did bullet-pointed sentences of basic Plot.

And then I looked at that and went "Oh, God, what have I gotten myself into." It's six pages long just like that. Turning it into something that's actually readable and interesting seemed like an overwhelming task.

Until I realized, last night as I was falling asleep over my keyboard, that if I broke it down into the Seven-Point Plot Structure, that I would hit the high points that needed hitting. And until I thought of it this way, I didn't even know that I'd done a seven-point structure, because the thing is incredibly plot-heavy (and character-heavy)--but I totally did. I can see exactly where the points hit.

This. This right here, is why I go to conventions. If I hadn't seen Dan Wells's presentation on the seven-point structure and started using it in my short fiction, I would not have seen that I did it (again, wholly by instinct; I had no idea what I was doing, really) in the novel. I'd still be flailing around.

Now? I have actual hope that I can do this thing. Thanks, Dan. <3

So, I'm dinking around Yahoo Answers today (as one does), and some kid is lamenting the fact that he might have to get a real job while he works on the dream of becoming a fantasy novelist.

Well, yes. Starving in a garret is only romantic if you're not the one starving, and if you don't think about it too hard. Suck it up, sunshine, and welcome to the real world. I wasn't quite that brutal in my answer, but there is Dream, and there is Reality, and making the two come together is Hard Work.

I then detailed my to-do list for the foreseeable future:
1. Graphics worksheet, bio, photo, and a bunch of other stuff for "That Which Is Hidden." Due, well, tomorrow.

2. Synopsis for Sold Soul to send to a place that apparently thinks "write us a synopsis" is easier than "send us the manuscript and don't worry about the formatting."

3. Edits on Cyborg Werewolf. This one needs a rewrite from the ground up from midway through the story. Fun stuff. That's due at the end of the month. Oh, look, it's October.

4. Outline the rest of Angry Bitter Angel. Then write it. Am I a novelist? No, I am not. Do I have any earthly idea what's supposed to happen in my putative Act Two? No, I do not. Awesome.

5. (Backburnered.) Finish the synopsis for not!KKBB/IM, revamp the query, and start sending that damn thing out again.

That's just the writing plate, and it's assuming I don't get any rejections I need to flip today. Look full to you? Yeah, it looks full to me too. But I also have other responsibilities.
1. Today is Laundry Day. Whee.

2. It's a school day. I have to keep the Boy on task while we do that.

3. Somewhere in there, I need to feed my family.

4. Since the Hubby is going to work tomorrow, I have to make sure the house is vacuumed. White pets + black work pants = unmixy.

5. Half hour on the bike.

6. Television has started up again, and that's Family Time. We have Agents of SHIELD and Person of Interest tonight, plus an episode of Last Man Standing to catch up on from last week.

WELL. I guess I should get off the damb interwebs and get my ass in gear, huh.

I've sent out nine personalized queries today.

I guess we'll see.

Still smacking the query letter around. Or being smacked around by it. Hard to tell.

And my penchant for not only mixing metaphors, but beating them into the ground until they sob in abject submission, is rearing its head again.

This thing started out as a chess metaphor. Ben = pawn in a lethal chess match, yadda yadda.

But now, he's taken control and changed the game to poker. Instead of getting pushed around the board, he's dealing the cards and putting his chips on the table. Except they're not chips he's actually willing to lose.

And I like the idea of him taking control and changing the game. This is a fine and shiny thing. I'm just...not sure that that sort of meta belongs in a query letter. And it's too wordy anyway.

The problem with the original final 'graph is that it looks like he's still getting pushed around instead of pushing back. If my protag is that wimpy, then who cares about him? So, the original fails too.

And again I say: ARGH.

So, I did the DVD Commentary Meme (still open for playing, if anyone wants to), and ravens_gate requested a DVD commentary of a DVD extra, namely, the scene in which Ben and Janni meet again for the first time five years after they graduate from high school and go their separate ways. She goes off to college and majors in Theater and English, and he toddles off to a couple of tours in Afghanistan, where he is captured by insurgents and torture ensues. And... go.


This came about because of my innate inability to just let things go.  The original scene was about three paragraphs long, and entailed Janni describing for Megan her first meeting with Ben after he came back from Afghanistan.  I decided that was too much telling and not enough showing, and went into flashback mode instead, which turned into more like 1700 words.  And that was a fine and shiny thing--except for my aforementioned inability to let things go.  I love writing the same scene from two different points of view (see: both Iron Man stories I've written), and this one has the added bonus of being in first person, which POV I also love writing in and don't do nearly enough of.

( The rest of it is under here. )

Which, I believe, I've already said once today.

But I've been looking over the QueryThing for the not!kkbb/im novelthing.

Dude, I suck at this. Like a Hoover.

Send Southern Comfort, plz.

Except, this is more than a snippet. More like an excerpt. This is an alternate POV scene, the one in which Ben and Janni meet each other again for the first time in five years. It's about 1900 words, Ben's POV, first person.

And...go.

( This had been a mistake. )

In the not!kkbb/im novelthing, not!Perry morphed from being a woman played by Camryn Manheim to being a woman played by Queen Latifah and voiced by Wanda Sykes. (Yeah, I don't know either.)

This, naturally, necessitated not!Harmony swapping races as well (as not!Harmony is not!Perry's daughter), and I didn't really have an actress in mind for who plays her anymore--

Until I watched the latest episode of Numb3rs and went "Hey! That's her!" (Only, not!Harmony is shorter. Like, five foot nothing.)

NOW. The question for my all-knowing flist is: How long does it take her to get her hair to look like that?