Arrant Nonsense

Giving hope, and then snatching it away with both hands. No, Janni, Ben is not dealing well with this. At all. He's having a hard time forgiving himself for what he sees as a moral failing on his part, no matter that you don't care what he did with that vampire bitch. Even if you think it was rape, he doesn't. His mind very possibly broke in the lab (what with the needles and the wolfsbane and the being tied down). The 3/4ths of a bottle of Glenlivet he just consumed is, probably, Not Helping.

So, yeah, as you all should know by now, I'm all over the Broken Characters like whoa. And now I'm turning my attention to Patrick Jane, of "The Mentalist." Because I realized yesterday that there's no other show I'm watching right now where I'm sitting here waiting for a character to snap right in half. All the other shows I watch have pretty mentally stable characters. This is the only one I can think of right now that hits my "broken dude" kink right where it lives. Even "Dollhouse" doesn't do that (other than in "Epitaph One," and I'm not sure that counts because it's just the one ep).

The thing is, Jane isn't good with weapons, like, at all. Or violence. He's the one cowering in a corner when violence of any kind starts ensuing. He's planning on killing Red John when he finds him, but whether he can actually Do The Deed is up for question. And if he couldn't, I don't know if that would break him more, or less...

In Query Letter of Doom news, I've already got a rejection back from one place, but it didn't appear to be a form rejection and it was somewhat encouraging, so I'll take it. I'm still wibbling, though.

I've sent out nine personalized queries today.

I guess we'll see.

I'm embarking on the Agent Quest today. I've tweaked the Query Letter of Doom once again (and I'd stop doing that if it didn't keep getting better every time I did), and now I'm going to start personalizing the letter for each agent and shipping the thing out.

WHY am I more nervous about this than I am about sending out actual manuscripts to actual editors? It's time for the book to start pulling its weight. Also, my inbox is empty and has been for...quite some time. I realize that this is a busy time of year for everyone, but waiting is hard.

*nods firmly* I'm going to by-god do this.

Well. I really think I need to take a step back from the new!Ben&Janni story. Ben is exhausted and has stopped talking to me, which, who can blame him? I've got a couple of other projects that need to go from a back burner to the front one. Plus I need to start personalizing the Query Letter of Doom and sending it out to agents. Which I would like to start doing by Friday.

Congrats to the handsome and talented bradtorgerson for winning third place in the 3rd Quarter Writers of the Future contest. *blows party horn* UTAH REPRESENT, YO.

In other news, the agent hunt continues apace. I apparently need a synopsis now. Oh, god.

In other other news, I've tweaked the query yet again. I'd stop doing that if it wouldn't keep getting better every time I did it. Grawr.

Also, the shitstorm generated by Harlequin adding a vanity publishing arm to its stable continues apace, and I'm going to call my post about it at Clairvoyant Wank a rousing success.

• flipped a rejected story
  
• gone grocery shopping
  
• edited the last paragraph of the querything again into something even more awesome
  
• posted a thing at Clairvoyant Wank about Harlequin being delisted at RWA over their new vanity imprint
  
• posted a pissy comment at fandomsecrets

So. Why do I feel like I haven't done anything today?

*looks at list*

Well. Because I haven't, really. *headdesks repeatedly*

Scrapped the poker metaphor completely. There's no poker in the actual book, and Ben's a soldier, not a gambler. I'm much happier with the query than I was. This feels right...

And thus time for the Weekly Word Count.

Last week's wordcount: 120,500
This week's wordcount: 122,366
Word count for the week: 1,866

*wipes brow* Barely hit the goal.

HOWEVER. I have been hard at work on the Query Letter of Doom, which is sitting at 177 words right now, so, there's that. And that's after massive editing and paring down and squinting and tearing hair out over such tiny things as wondering if a target is painted on Ben's back as opposed to his chest, and whether he's a pawn in a chess match or a wild card in a poker game.

*snorts* Neither of which (the target or the game metaphor) have actually made it into the current version of the thing.

Monday Maunderings are going to be flocked--I'm going to post the query for y'all to tear into. Stay tuned.

joins the chess metaphor in the dustbin. At least, the metaphor in the first 'graph. The extended metaphor in the last 'graph stays. Because I say so, dammit.

Now I get the fun, fun, fun job of researching agents...

*opens spreadsheet, toddles off to Preditors and Editors*

What think ye, flist? Do you wish to see the Query Thing?

Also, I'm totally counting this as part of my weekly word count. Because I've worked my ass off on it this week.

the Query Letter of Doom continues apace.

I have completely dumped the chess metaphor. Rather than a "pawn," Ben is now a "wild card," which in theory gives him more agency (because words Mean Things and have Connotations). Rather than just getting shoved around a board, he's a spanner in the works, mucking things up. This is far more accurate in light of what actually happens in the book.

Of course, this is me we're talking about here, so the poker metaphor also gets beaten to a bloody and submissive pulp. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. It may be too twee for an agent, or it may hit them just right. Hell, I don't know.

I'm to the point where I'm second-guessing myself. This will be quickly followed by me saying "Screw it, it is what it is, *I* like it, dammit, and if an agent doesn't like it, then that person is not the agent for me."

*wonders if I should post this for the Usual Suspects*

EDIT: I've sent it to the Query Shark; we'll see what she says. *wibbles*