And the...

Apr. 19th, 2009 05:28 pm
agilebrit: (Over My Head)
Book in a Nutshell thing is subbed.

We who are about to die salute you.

Oh, god.

And now I guess I have about ten days to come up with a title for the thing.
agilebrit: (Over My Head)
At the lovely and effulgent [livejournal.com profile] difrancis's LJ.

Here's mine, which is a piece from something I'm going to throw up as a DVD extra for the not!kkbb/im novelthing, one of these days. No, it's not the sex scene. You no can haz.
agilebrit: (Over My Head)
Went to the DMV today to register the Willys so we'd actually have something to, you know, jeep in, at Moab this weekend. And that was fine. I took along my little notebook to scribble notes for my hook/query letter/what-have-you for when I start sending the not!kkbb/im novelthing out. Got the first paragraph done, and it's...okay, I guess. At this point it's thoughts on paper and me wibbling over not!Harry and the fact that the poor guy really does get the shit beat out of him both physically and emotionally in this thing. Over and over and over again.

The problem is that I've got a lot going on, with a lot of characters. I've got not!Harry, who is the main protag (not that he was supposed to be, but when a character grabs me by the scruff of the neck and says "MY story!" who am I to say no? It is their story; I'm just writing it down), but I've also got not!Harmony, his girlfriend. I've got not!Tony, who hired not!Harry's boss to look into the industrial espionage that's the catalyst for the whole thing, and the Bad Guy, who's terribly worried about his Sick Wife. Not to mention not!Pepper, who is also a pretty major player here.

So I've got at least six characters (alas for not!Perry getting short shrift in this one) I should mention in this thing. And I'm pretty sure that the query should be, like, a page. And I have the terrible feeling that I'm confusing a "hook" with a "query" and am thus Doing It Wrong. And then I look at the back of a paperback like "Bloodlist" by the lovely and effulgent [livejournal.com profile] p_n_elrod and say "Whoa, that's a cool hook, why can't I do that?" and come away with the idea that my story kind of sucks because it doesn't have that One Overarching Thing That Holds It All Together. How in the hell do Doorstop Fantasies do this?

I mean, it gets from Point A to Point Z pretty serviceably, and there are twists and turns along the way that I hope are unexpected, but I'm not sure the One-Sentence Summary really works, y'know? I mean, "You can hunt down your own murderer" is a REALLY COOL hook, right? I don't know if I have that. And if I do, I'm not sure I'm the one to noodle it out.

I'm going to have to think more on this. Apropos icon is apropos.

In other news, Lost continues to captivate (oh, god, I love Ben So Very Much, and what's with all these cool characters and people named "Ben"? Am I channelling something in the Great Subconscious?), and The Unusuals has caught my attention. I mean, come on, look at the cast. Two JossVerse alums and Michael from Lost? They had me as soon as I recognized Penn.
agilebrit: (facepalm)
I should be editing this monster into some form of not sucking so I can figure out three sentences to submit to the Knight Agency.

What am I doing instead?

Writing a scene from an alternate POV, that I'm going to throw up as a sort of DVD extra. Not only that, but I'm doing an AU of that scene, from the alternate POV, that will never actually see the light of day. A few of you know why. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. *snuggles YIM buddies*

Seriously, stoppit, self. I don't know why, when it's thisclose to being actually finished, I'm balking.

Maybe because if I finish it, I'll actually have to start seriously thinking about the next project, and I'm comfortable with this one. It feels like home. Which makes sense, seeing as it's been eating my brain since the end of July 2008, but...time to move on. Yes.

Also, when I finish this, I'm going to have to think about marketing it. And this intimidates the hell out of me.
agilebrit: (Over My Head)
*tears hair out by the roots*

I almost think that not!Harry should be more broken here than he already is.

The problem with that is, if he's more broken, then, seriously, there's nothing at all stopping him from pulling the trigger. He's on the brink-y edge as it is. Anything more will push him right over into oblivion.

Something's missing here. And I'm not sure I'm good enough to pull a scene like this off.

Apropos icon is apropos.

*cries*

ETA: Anyone with a googledocs account want to have a look at the damn thing for me? *waves invitations around* Just leave me your email addy. I'll screen it if you like.

In other news, I have "Wonder Boys" (five bucks at Best Buy, in case anyone missed yesterday's post) and "Soapdish" ($13 at B&N). This brings the number of RDJ movies I own that I haven't yet watched to ten. FAIL.

Aw, Ben.

Apr. 1st, 2009 01:09 pm
agilebrit: (Over My Head)
Yeah, this scene?

So not easy to write.

Nor should a scene like this be. He's just about hit the end of his rope and is probably a couple of fingers from falling off it altogether. And he's not sure he wants anyone to swoop in and catch him.

You'd think it'd be easier to write, because, after all, I've already written it once, from Janni's viewpoint. But he's in a totally different headspace than she is, just trying to not collapse and lose his shit, and now he feels almost obligated to not kill himself because she'd feel responsible if she let him chase her away and he then ate his gun. The poor guy has no one in his life who actually cares about him, he's trying to do this all by himself, and it's so hard...

(I should point out that this scene takes place five months after he gets back from Afghanistan, and this is the first time in five years that he's seen Janni. They're not at the "living together" stage yet, and he hasn't gotten to the point of leaning on her during a panic attack. "Just this once," he tells himself.)

I know we're supposed to be self-sufficient and all that happy horseshit, but, seriously. Sometimes you just need a hand, y'know? Because the idea of someone trying to put themselves back together again from something like this with no help (other than help from a VA psychiatrist or two who are otherwise strangers) is intolerable to me.

Yeah, I'm probably going to post this later, because this version of the scene isn't going in the book. But first I want to make it actually, you know, good.
agilebrit: (facepalm)
When I'm watching your trailer, and comparing your movie unfavorably to "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"...

This is a problem.

Why, yes, "Observe and Report," I'm looking at you. I'm going to have to invest in a longer pole, because the ten-foot one just isn't long enough.

In other news, I'm thinking of doing the Flashback Scene from not!Harry's POV and throwing it up as a sort of "DVD Extra." Because I'm not too far inside his head as it is and writing (another!) scene from his POV where he's contemplating killing himself is going to be good for me.

Yeah, that was sarcasm. See? I'm channeling him already.

In other other news, I'd like to rip my uterus out with a pitchfork, shoot it, set it on fire, and then bury it under twelve feet of lime in my backyard. The timing was fine this time, but the headache that two naproxen didn't even touch was not appreciated. At least that's gone now. We'll see what it hits me with today.

Oh! And we had a goldfinch on the bird feeder. That makes three species. I'm thinking of putting out a thistle sock.
agilebrit: (Over My Head)
Yet another editing pass, done.

*squints @ opening scene, changes a sentence* Wait, what the...

*growls and fixes timeline* No, dumbass. Not!Harry was taken by insurgents nearly three years ago. He's only been back less than two and a half years.

Of course, I might not have known that (consciously) until this particular editing pass, because this is the one where I did the expanded flashback scene that actually gave us that actual information, so...

Well. At least I caught it.

And now I can go through it (again) and slide not!Harmony's hobby in.

Tomorrow.

BTW? *points @ icon* I'm loving having this many userpics to play with. SERIOUSLY.

HAH.

Mar. 28th, 2009 11:52 pm
agilebrit: (KKBB manip Tony/Pepper)
I've replaced the problematic 150-word paragraph with 450 words that suck less. These words give us more of a sense of the previous relationship they had and a hint of the future one.

And thus my notion that I do most of my best writing after ten PM is reinforced. :/ This is a problem when I'm married to a man who likes to go to bed around eleven. But it's like I finally relax enough to do it or something around then, even if I've had the house to myself for most of the day.

Yeah. I don't know.

*ponders*

Mar. 28th, 2009 07:08 pm
agilebrit: (NOT a smile)
I kind of hate this paragraph. Show, don't tell, right? And there's a whole lotta tellin' here.

Also, OOC. "I don't talk about it. Please don't ask." I don't see not!Harry opening up to not!Harmony like this, the first time he's seen her in five or so years. And honestly? I don't see her asking him about it either. They both know how close he just now was to eating his gun. Making him relive the horror that he went through Over There would be...counterproductive. At least.

So...yeah. *excises entire 'graph* Of course, now I have to figure out what to replace it with.

In other news, I'm thinking about going to a Plus Account so I can have more icons. Six just...isn't enough. Today I had perfect occasion (in answer to a now-deleted comment--GEE, WONDER WHY THEY DELETED THEIR COMMENT. I'm glad I quoted the relevant part) to use the "urge to bitchslap...rising" one I made last night, and couldn't because I don't have enough spaces.

So. I puts it to you, mah LJ peeps. Ads: Annoying, or not? Or do you have Firefox and thus don't care, like me? Why, yes, I have recently downloaded the Awesomeness that is Firefox and am kicking myself for not doing it years ago. And because of this, I'm just about to the point where I could live with ads, if I could get the extra icon spaces. But, lo, I am considerate, and don't wish to inflict the ads on my friends.

On the other hand, I've used LJ for a good many years now without contributing financially to it in any way, and I feel somewhat guilty about it. So...I don't even know.

Of course, I could just bite the damn bullet and blow the $20 on a Paid Account. Because, really.

ETA: I have "upgraded" to a Plus Account. I can haz moar iconz!
agilebrit: (Tony Stark--Anteaters)
Two-day turnaround, not bad. I've flipped it already, so go, me? Also, they said they were looking forward to more subs from me, so that's something.

Have a couple more icons (ETA: NOT related to the rejection. Oh dear, I hope that wasn't misconstrued):



I've been thinking about subbing the "urge to bitchslap" one for my Schlock icon, but I hate to lose the Schlock icon and the keywords would make it so every post I've put the Schlock icon on would revert to my default. I could go to a Plus Account to get more icons, but ads are ugly and I don't want to inflict them on others who don't use the same shiny Adblock I do in Firefox. And I'm too cheap to buy a Paid Account. And I've always said "No ads, ever, here," but...extra icons! They're shiny!

Woe.

However, in other news, I thought of a couple more things to stick in the not!kkbb/im novelthing, a couple of nice character moments for not!Harry, and I'm on page 94/161 of the current editing pass, so...win?
agilebrit: (Tony Stark--Anteaters)
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Basically, the Project That Ate My Brain, also known as the not!kkbb/im novelthing.

It began life as a Kiss Kiss Bang Bang/Iron Man crossover, because my Muse (Antubis the Evil, who is an anteater with teeth you might recognize from Kingdom Hospital) decided that having two characters played by Robert Downey, Jr., in the same story would be a fine and dandy thing. Understand that I didn't want to write fanfiction ever again--I would much rather pen things I can actually sell. But I've learned in my years of writing that if something grabs me by the throat like that, I'd better write it, otherwise I won't be able to write anything else, and so I sat down and started. Whining all the way.

And then I was at WorldCon, with a sign on my computer that read "Writer at work--PLEASE disturb before I beat my Muse to death. Seriously." And I was whining about this project to a sympathetic ear. I'd talked to him before about some of my previous projects, and he said "Wait a minute...don't you have a universe you can plug these characters into?"

After a few minutes of initial resistance--because I was something like three thousand words into it by then, and OMG THE REVISIONS REQUIRED SOB--and a panel that touched on industrial espionage in the pharmaceutical industry, the idea noodled around, solidified, and became...this.
ExpandWhoa, that got long... )
agilebrit: (Tony Stark--Anteaters)
So. I'm doing (yet another) editing pass, and I get to the part where the bad guys have not!Harry. Strapped to a table, down three pints of blood. No chance of rescue, like, at all--Sekrit Underground Lair territory. The Head Bad Guy is pissed at him anyway, because not!Harry killed his nephew (with good reason, not that the Head Bad Guy cares about his reasons).

Original line: "You're going to kill me, aren't you?"

This is...a good line. I like it. It gets the job done. However.

New line: "When are you going to kill me?"

Better line. Straighter and much more to the point. There's no "is there any chance I'm going to get out of this alive" here, because, well...there's not. And not!Harry isn't stupid, so he knows this.

I don't just like the new line, I adore the new line. Because way to make the Lady!Doc even more uncomfortable than she already is with the situation.

You know, I'd stop doing editing passes if the thing didn't keep getting better and better every time I did one.

I haven't even put in the Artist!not!Harmony part yet.

Huh.

Mar. 26th, 2009 12:15 pm
agilebrit: (KKBB manip Tony/Pepper)
So, I was poking through previous entries, and the whole "should not!Harry be allowed to carry a gun because of the whole PTSD thing" issue continued to bug.

So, I looked again. And this time, Google was my Very Good Friend. Because it led me to this:

California Firearms Laws.

And, on page 30, I found what I was looking for. Specifically:
No person who is receiving inpatient treatment because he or she is a danger to self or others may have in his or her possession or under his or her custody, or control, nor may he or she purchase or receive, or attempt to purchase or receive, any firearm. This applies even though the person has consented to the treatment. (Welfare and Institutions Code § 8100.)

No person who communicates to a licensed psychotherapist a serious threat of physical violence against a victim may purchase, possess, control, or have custody of any firearms for a period of six months after the threat is reported to a local law enforcement agency. Attempts to purchase, possess, or control firearms are also prohibited. Persons prohibited under this section may petition a court for restoration of firearms privileges. (Welfare and Institutions Code § 8100(b).)

No person adjudicated by a court of any state to be (a) a danger to others as a result of mental disorder or mental illness, or (b) a mentally disordered sex offender shall have in his or her possession, custody, or control any firearm. (Welfare and Institutions Code § 8103(a).)


So, I bolded the parts I think are relevant to not!Harry's particular case, and I think he's all right, legally speaking. It's entirely possible that he's communicated to a licensed psychotherapist that he's a danger to himself, sometime, but it's interesting that that part of the statute doesn't say anything about someone being a danger to himself--it's only if a person is receiving inpatient care because he's a danger to himself that the law applies.

Little details, man... Because if you get the little things like firearms laws right, then your readers will trust you with big things like, say...nanotech that creates werewolves.
agilebrit: (KKBB manip Tony/Pepper)
Because the poor Hubby had a 5:15am showup time for work. And this one is a four-day trip. At least he gets home early on Sunday?

Had a v. productive meeting with the Writing Buddy yesterday. I was still hunting for something for not!Harmony to have for Herself rather than Her Man and the Wreckage of His Psyche. My (published) Mom suggested photography. I noodled that around and decided it didn't really work for the plot--really, how to incorporate that so it actually slides in? So, I thought about drawing instead, because you can do that anywhere, anywhen; all you need is a pencil and a something to draw on. And I thought of a funny character moment to go with it as well.

And then my Writing Buddy suggested "storyboarding."

Because, see, she's an actress, but maybe she's got ambitions to do stuff behind the cameras as well. And if she's going along and kind of sketching out the events as they happen, maybe someone will look at what she's got there and have a Eureka Moment. Or something. I haven't quite figured that part out yet, but it's something I can give her that's All Hers. So, yay. Now I just have to go through and stick that in and have it make actual sense.

But, you know, if I can write a straight romance and then slide lycanthropy into it, this should be a walk in the park, right?
agilebrit: (KKBB manip Tony/Pepper)
You poor bastard.

You know what? I was going to post a long entry explaining what I'd just done. And then I realized that you haven't been graced with a snippet in awhile. So, here. Have one:

The tall one weighed a cattle prod in one hand and the stun gun in the other, eyeing Ben crossways with an expression that wasn't a smile. "This," he said casually, holding up the stun gun, "puts out about five hundred thousand volts, according to the manufacturer. It knocked you out in the parking lot pretty as you please. However, we don't want to knock you out. Knocking you out is counterproductive."

"I'd prefer it," Ben rasped, spitting blood. His blurred vision had honed in on the cattle prod, which brought back all kinds of memories from Afghanistan. None of them were happy ones.

"Of course you would. Now this--" He hefted the cattle prod. "--only puts out about eleven thousand volts. It's actually one of my most favorite toys, because it's painful as hell but doesn't cause any lasting damage, so I can use it again and again." He paused. "Tell us what we want to know, and I won't use it on you."

Shit. Ben closed his eyes and tried to breathe. He thought about making something up, anything to stop them, but if they didn't believe the truth after all this, then a lie wouldn't convince them either. "I. Don't. Know."

"That's really a shame."


I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to think that this might be actually good.
agilebrit: (KKBB manip Tony/Pepper)
with [livejournal.com profile] ithildyn and [livejournal.com profile] ninjababe yesterday. We had dinner at Famous Dave's (sausage OMG YUM). And we talked writing and fandom and stuff and it was great. Hopefully we'll get to to it again soon. :)

In writing news, I'm having a tendency to agree that my opening scene needs toning down a bit. I've excised a paragraph, changed brass knuckles to a dog chain wrapped around the bad guy's fist, and substituted the same dog chain for the cat o'nine tails. I should also point out, somewhere in there, that a cattle prod has less zappage than a stun gun designed for humans. So, it's still evolving and continuing to SUCK LESS with every pass. I'll let you know when it ceases to suck AT ALL.

It may be awhile.

*eyes previous paragraph* I realize that it doesn't sound all that "toned down" from that description, but trust me. It also necessitated changing a sentence that I really really loved, but I didn't have to get rid of it entirely, so, WIN. Also, I think not!Harry's Mighty Sarcasm came through even more clearly, so, DOUBLE WIN.
agilebrit: (Tony Stark--Anteaters)
a birthday party for Da Boy in a half hour. This is the first time we've had a party for him with other kids. He turns eight tomorrow. OMG.

Wish us luck. Upload Southern Comfort.

And then, after that, we're getting a visit from the lovely and effulgent [livejournal.com profile] ithildyn and [livejournal.com profile] ninjababe. Should be fun!

I added another line of description to the not!kkbb/im novelthing. Go, me for remembering that not!Harry has scars ringing his wrists and that he might rub them when telling not!Harmony about what happened to him in Afghanistan. Nice character moment.

Will probably be scarce the rest of the day on both IM and LJ.

Well.

Mar. 20th, 2009 02:22 pm
agilebrit: (Tony Stark--Anteaters)
It's better. Way better. My word choices before were problematic and pulling me out of the scene rather than into it. I finally remembered that panic attacks have more physical reactions than just OMG CAN'T BREATHE and have incorporated them.

Now I can't breathe. Seriously, I've got the shakes. Hopefully, so will a reader who isn't nearly as invested in not!Harry as I am...

Which leads me to think that I may have come to the point where I'm identifying far too closely with not!Harry. Shit. And, courtesy of TV Tropes, I've discovered the difference between a Woobie, a Butt Monkey, and a Chew Toy. Not!Harry = Woobie. Definitely.

In other news, I'm wearing my Puppet!Angel t-shirt and debating whether or not I'm going to a Twilight Release Party tonight to nosh on free cake and point and laugh and shout "REAL VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE, DAMMIT. NOR ARE THEY FRAKKING VEGETARIANS."

Clearly, I have too much time on my hands. Also, issues.
agilebrit: (Tony Stark--Anteaters)
DONE. *squishes Mom & kicks Eudora (or whatever that email client she uses is) and Yahoo* By the way, Mom, those in-text [chapter break] things were there for reference and will be excised as soon as I decide where all of them are actually going. The three(?) I have in there are the ones that are definite.

I've also made a couple of improvements to my flashback scene. Physical reactions to fear for the win!

Also, I've cracked 95,000 words. \o/ And they're words in the middle rather than at the end, so my ending hasn't gotten more bloated than it already is.

And now I should probably dive into that opening sequence yet again. Because it still kind of sucks.

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