Well, foo.

[agilebrit]

I got an IM visit from the infamous jeremycrawford, much like the one I got last year. But this time, we didn't even get to the part where he calls me an ASSHOLE and tells me to go to hell. But I was able to string him along for awhile.

Enjoy:

crawfordjeremy702000: hello.
babiesstolemydingo: Howdy
crawfordjeremy702000: do you write fanfiction.
babiesstolemydingo: do I know you?
babiesstolemydingo: I've been known to.
crawfordjeremy702000: i found you at sunnydalewrites yahoo group.
babiesstolemydingo: ah I see
crawfordjeremy702000: i was looking for someone to write a fic.
babiesstolemydingo: Anything specific, or fic in general? I've got, like...seventy, you could read.
crawfordjeremy702000: would this kind bother you tara pairied with a 15 year old male a nc-17 kind.
babiesstolemydingo: That might be tricky. Seeing as Tara's a lesbian. First time for both of them sort of thing?
crawfordjeremy702000: what about one where she find out willow cheats on her and decides to try male.
babiesstolemydingo: I think she'd be more inclined to break up with Willow over the whole mind-control thing...
babiesstolemydingo: Also, men are dogs; I'm not sure that Willow cheating on her would inspire her to see if the grass is greener...
crawfordjeremy702000: oh.
babiesstolemydingo: Still here?
crawfordjeremy702000: yeah.
babiesstolemydingo: I just have trouble breaking up a canon couple for some random porn...
crawfordjeremy702000: well i like your idea about breaking up with willow over the mind control
babiesstolemydingo: I just don't see why that would send Tara, of all people, rushing into the arms of an underage kid.
crawfordjeremy702000: what about if she used magic to see who she is supposed to be with.
babiesstolemydingo: I'd think that if the spell came up with a 15-year-old of the male persuasion, she'd say "Well, obviously THAT didn't work..."
babiesstolemydingo: still here?
crawfordjeremy702000: yes.
babiesstolemydingo: Also, without knowing how old YOU are, I'm not comfortable writing porn for you.
crawfordjeremy702000: 29
babiesstolemydingo: Well, that's something. Not wanting a self-insert, then...
babiesstolemydingo: Although it makes me wonder... naaaaaaaaaaah.
babiesstolemydingo: nevermind
crawfordjeremy702000: that is the only way i think of tara with a 15 year old if willow cheats on tara
babiesstolemydingo: And I just don't see her going there. Why an underage kid? She's in college, you'd think she'd want someone more experienced for her first time.
crawfordjeremy702000: will you do the fic
babiesstolemydingo: Really, I just can't picture the scenario.
crawfordjeremy702000: i am not taking no for answer.
babiesstolemydingo: Oh, well. If you're going to hold me at GUNPOINT....
babiesstolemydingo: What sort of wordcount are you looking for?
babiesstolemydingo: Hello?
babiesstolemydingo: Do you want this thing or don't you?
babiesstolemydingo: Jeremy?
babiesstolemydingo: I thought you wanted fic...?

Comments

[ithildyn.livejournal.com]

Where in the heck do you meet these people? That's just creepy. Skeevy guys asking women to write porn for them.Yuck.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

He's been doing this for YEARS. And no one will write anything for him. It's hilarious, in a pathetic sort of way.

[crayonbreakygal.livejournal.com]

Ick! Crazy person. I remember the last time you dealt with him.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

This time I got to string him along a little. I'm sad, though, because I really was going to write something for him. Not what he expected, obviously, because I'm evil that way. But something.

[mela-lyn.livejournal.com]

You ARE evil.





My hero. *swoon*

[mela-lyn.livejournal.com]

OMG... that's... creepy. Who is this guy?!?!?!

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

He's well-known in the fic-writing community. He'll IM someone out of the blue, ask them if they write fic, ask for something outrageous (usually something that they don't write, although the fifteen-year-old boy paired with an older woman seems to be a favorite of his), and then get really really angry when they refuse.

He's been doing this for years.

[mela-lyn.livejournal.com]

Child porn... yes, freaky and wrong and I don't even want to know WHY. *shudder*

I liked your dealings with him last year. That was funny. 'ENTERTAIN ME!' Apparently his memory is along shorter than yours. Then again... you've immortalized the conversation.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

I have a theory as to the why (it must be bunnies!), which has to do with his own First Time. He wants to either relive it...or he wants it to be better than he remembers.

But that's me being an Armchair Psychologist, when I can't even psychoanalyze my own character (who just made his wife cry), so...take it for what it's worth, I guess. That and five bucks will get you coffee at Seattle's Best.

[mela-lyn.livejournal.com]

Oh - I think any way you look at it, it's still creepy. And if he's that desperate, write his own.

*sends hugs to Ben's wife*

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, very creepy. BUT HE'S NOT A WRITER. So someone else has to write his wank material. Especially since that was the first and last time...

Okay, now I'm just being mean.

And, yeah, poor Janni. Ben thinks he's hallucinating and doesn't think he's actually talking to her. So...ouch.

[kensieg.livejournal.com]

couldn't he google his own? there's all kinds of stuff on the 'net.

[pensive]

...WHAT

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

I know, right. You'd think after all this time the guy would learn to write his own porn.

[mela-lyn.livejournal.com]

good icon. :)

[pensive]

YOU have a good icon...AH HUR HUR HUR HUR

[mela-lyn.livejournal.com]

OMG! I pulled that pic a couple months ago to make an icon and hadn't!! That's too funny!! I love that snippet. Of course, I love Deadpool. I didn't know he existed til this movie was coming out then I started reading about him and some of his comics... I think he might surpass Wolverine as my favorite. But not by much. :)

Here's another of my favorite icons.

[pensive]

I love that icon and I loved your Ryan posts. I AM ADDING YOU BACK

[cafedemonde.livejournal.com]

HA!!!

[luxuria-oceanus.livejournal.com]

O.O

See, all I can think of is 'WTF?'

*blinks*

*scratches head*

*shudders* Please, tell me you wouldn't have written it...

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Certainly not--at least, not the way he would have enjoyed it. *evil laughter* I mean, this is a guy who hit up a person he didn't even know if she was any good at writing porn. Either I would have done something along the lines of "he put his sex in her sex and they had sex," or it would have been filled with the urplest of urple prose.

And then he would have been all "Dude, that sucked," and I'd be all "Well, I never said I was actually competent at this."

I have a plan. It'll be fun to see if I ever get to actually implement it.

[luxuria-oceanus.livejournal.com]

*SNORT* Wooooow.

You'd actually DO that? I'm inclined to be genuinely scared of you or bow down to you, or both.

See, what I'd like to know is how that guy even find you, and how can you even go to someone and ask fic from them without knowing them or knowing if they'd write for that pairing or even feel comfortable writing on request... I mean... c'mon... courtesy, anyone?

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

He found me, apparently, via a Yahoo group I belong to. And he does this all the time. Apparently the concept of "manners" has gone right over his head.

You may bow down to me. I also take tips. Or you could just read and comment on my last snippet, which is sitting there, all lonely-like. *comment-h0rs liek whoa*

[luxuria-oceanus.livejournal.com]

Wow. Rude people exist all over the internet.

Oh! I'll go reading, then :-P

[ezagaaikwe.livejournal.com]

Good for you! I got a visit from him years back, googled him, and banned him without even responding to him. You're braver than I am. He's like a bad penny that keeps turning up. I'm sure he's addicted to porn. He's an asshole, either way. **shrugs**

I give you my lovely "Dancing Tara" icon now. **points**

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Troll-baiting--a time-honored hobby. I wonder if this guy knows how well-known he is, or ever googles himself. And if he'd think it was funny, or if he'd be horrified...

[ezagaaikwe.livejournal.com]

Doesn't everyone google themselves? **whistles innocently and looks away**

He's probably PROUD that he's so well-known, like the publicity hounds who don't mind bad press, provided their name is spelled right.

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

You are too cool. :)

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

I'm here til Tuesday, try the veal. ;)