So, we went to the movies last night...

[agilebrit]

And saw "The Hulk" with "Speed Racer."

Non-spoilery reviews:
"The Hulk" was...good. Not excellent, but good. Somehow, they managed to suck all the fun out of it. I counted one funny line--and you get that in the trailer. It just lacked "Iron Man's" sarcasm and wit. The characters are quite earnest and mostly fundamentally decent, and we got a couple of iconic moments, but this read more like a prequel and a character-set-up than a standalone. And there's nothing wrong with that--I loved the ending; that was fabulous. I gave it 2 3/4 stars out of four. Not bad enough to be 2 1/2, not good enough to be 3.

"Speed Racer," on the other hand...

Boy, this is a bad movie. Eye-searingly, cringingly bad. I think everyone here knows I'm a NASCAR fan, right? And this movie commits the deadly sin of being a boring racing movie. Seriously, the pontificating in this thing would make a theological debate between Joe Lieberman and Ben Stein look interesting. (Yes, I know they're both Jewish. That's my point.) They take a point, beat it into the ground, bury it ten feet, and keep going. OMG. "I love you. I really really love you. No, really. Really really. And did I mention you make me proud? You make me so proud. So, so proud. Prouder than proud. I love you and I'm proud of you. Really, so much." I kept waiting for their lips to keep moving after they got done talking; the dialogue was like something out of a badly-dubbed movie.

Which, if that's the effect they were going for, more power to them, but this was painful to watch, folks. Classic instance of show, don't tell. They kept telling us that these are decent people whom we should be rooting for, but they never really showed us why.

And you guys know me. I'm willing to suspend my disbelief and dive into a world, no questions asked, I'm along for the ride. Smoke Monster on LOST? I'm there. Alien that farts helium on "Farscape"? Count me in. Sound in space in "Star Wars"? Eh, why not, at least for the original trilogy. This? Didn't pull me in. At all. Michael Medved gave it a star and a half. I think he was generous.

In other news, I've solved my Faerie Show Fic problem. I know how the new one ends. Now all I have to do is write it. *evil laughter*

In other other news, I'm looking at laptop bags, now that I saw that one on Ebags. We're going out later today to put actual eyeballs on some. If I can find one for under $31 with the same features, I'll buy it locally.

Comments

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

I laughed at Hulk but that's primarily because I'm an old comics fan and I used to watch the tv show so I grinned as the inside jokes went by. Did you catch the Captain America reference? Gave me a serious giggle, as did the purple pants.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

I missed the Captain America reference (I think), but loved Lou Ferrigno's cameo and the fact that "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" was playing on the background television.

Purple pants: "They were the stretchiest ones!" *snerk*

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

Weren't those wonderful!

Every mention of the "super soldier serum" was a Captain America reference, but the best on was when Tony Stark talked about the project being put on ice is what made me giggle. If you're familar with Captain america he got frozen to get him from WWII to the modern era.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Ah! I'm totally unfamiliar with Captain America and so that went whoosh right over my head. :)

[bojojoti.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed at what passes as dialogue in so many movies.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

I wasn't directly quoting, but that was the sense of it. It was horrible. If I'd had popcorn, I would have been throwing it at my windshield. And then berating myself for wasting popcorn.

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

I loved the in jokes (and got distracted when I saw Chris Owens was one of the commandos), but why would The Hulk be funny? His situation is a lot different from Stark's. I thought the tone was very similar to the TV show, and the comics (though I haven't read them in a long time). I though it was sooooo much better than Angst Lee's, and it kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Oh, this one was far better than that travesty a few years ago. We will speak no more of that one! It exists not! (Although watching him leap around several Utah monuments was amusing--"He's in Moab! Bryce! Zion! Back to Moab!")

I liked it. I just didn't love it. Except for the end. That was awesome!

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

It's possible that the Toronto locations heightened my enjoyment considerably. I'd walked down the Harlem set after work one night while they were still setting up the lights. And I knew one of the commandos.

[bullet4fob.livejournal.com]

ah Speed Racer. i agree with your assessment of the dialogue 100 percent. and there is nothing, nothing, nothing in the movie that was left unsaid. like the audience couldn't even begin to surmise that Speed might wonder if the mysterious Racer X was his brother before Speed blurts it out. also, the directing choices were ghastly. so awful. floating heads and quick cuts for no reason. and the plot was so complicated. OMG. the entire subplot about the Japanese people should have been cut. the movie was obviously meant for kids but what kid could sit through all of that? and everything did look fake.

all that said, i think i kind of liked it. but i don't know why. maybe i appreciated the attempt at creating an epic story of sons sacrificing for their families or maybe i am just a sucker for the earnestness and charm and dark hair of the guy playing Speed. and i thought the guy who played Rex was really hot.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

The guy who played Rex is Matthew Fox, who plays Jack on "Lost." And I totally said "How dumb are these people? It's obvious that 'Racer X' is Rex! DUH." And I said that a good half hour before Speed twigged to it. The fake-out was nice, though. I'll give them a point for that.

Da Boy liked it. But he's seven and likes everything.