Better.

The lovely and effulgent sunnyd_lite (smooches her) did some yeoman's work with my query for the first novelthing tonight. I feel good about it. I'm going to let it percolate overnight, drop Da Boy off at a birthday party--and sit in B&N, drink coffee, and ponder it some more tomorrow. And then I'll meet with my Writing Buddy and see what he thinks. And B&N has free wifi, so I can bounce stuff off my online peeps. No other internet, though, unless it's email. Because that's an attention-sucker, and I'm one of those weirdos who actually is working in the coffee shop.

So. Yes. Work was done tonight. Ironically, the bulk of it was done after ten PM, which is when my brain usually decides to wake up and Do Stuff when the Hubby's gone.

Better.

The lovely and effulgent sunnyd_lite (smooches her) did some yeoman's work with my query for the first novelthing tonight. I feel good about it. I'm going to let it percolate overnight, drop Da Boy off at a birthday party--and sit in B&N, drink coffee, and ponder it some more tomorrow. And then I'll meet with my Writing Buddy and see what he thinks. And B&N has free wifi, so I can bounce stuff off my online peeps. No other internet, though, unless it's email. Because that's an attention-sucker, and I'm one of those weirdos who actually is working in the coffee shop.

So. Yes. Work was done tonight. Ironically, the bulk of it was done after ten PM, which is when my brain usually decides to wake up and Do Stuff when the Hubby's gone.

ARGH.

Still smacking the query letter around. Or being smacked around by it. Hard to tell.

And my penchant for not only mixing metaphors, but beating them into the ground until they sob in abject submission, is rearing its head again.

This thing started out as a chess metaphor. Ben = pawn in a lethal chess match, yadda yadda.

But now, he's taken control and changed the game to poker. Instead of getting pushed around the board, he's dealing the cards and putting his chips on the table. Except they're not chips he's actually willing to lose.

And I like the idea of him taking control and changing the game. This is a fine and shiny thing. I'm just...not sure that that sort of meta belongs in a query letter. And it's too wordy anyway.

The problem with the original final 'graph is that it looks like he's still getting pushed around instead of pushing back. If my protag is that wimpy, then who cares about him? So, the original fails too.

And again I say: ARGH.

ARGH.

Still smacking the query letter around. Or being smacked around by it. Hard to tell.

And my penchant for not only mixing metaphors, but beating them into the ground until they sob in abject submission, is rearing its head again.

This thing started out as a chess metaphor. Ben = pawn in a lethal chess match, yadda yadda.

But now, he's taken control and changed the game to poker. Instead of getting pushed around the board, he's dealing the cards and putting his chips on the table. Except they're not chips he's actually willing to lose.

And I like the idea of him taking control and changing the game. This is a fine and shiny thing. I'm just...not sure that that sort of meta belongs in a query letter. And it's too wordy anyway.

The problem with the original final 'graph is that it looks like he's still getting pushed around instead of pushing back. If my protag is that wimpy, then who cares about him? So, the original fails too.

And again I say: ARGH.