I'm a bad, bad, girl...

[agilebrit]

Yeah, I finally got a sockpuppet account at FFN for the *cough* less-than-flattering *cough* reviews I feel compelled to leave for dreck like this. Click the link; share my pain. It's not even my fandom. But with a summary like "just read and review" (just like that; no caps or punctuation) I couldn't help but check it out. And now my eyes are bleeding and my poor husband is scraping my brains off the wall because they exploded at the non-existent logic.

My review:

Please tell me this is a troll. You misspelled the second WORD in this story...and it's not a hard word. Proofreading is your friend. So is the spellcheck. So is a harsh beta reader. A beta reader would have corrected such simple errors as "madder" for "matter" and "kneals" for "kneels." You shift tenses all over the place. Pick one, present or past. And FYI, scriptfics are a no-no on this site. So is rating a story with that many swear words in it a "K." Your commas are either misplaced or not used at all where they're supposed to be, and what's up with using an apostrophe for a plural? "Throw's"? "Shoot's"? Um, no.

That's just your mechanics. Logic went "boom" when Elliot blamed Olivia for his wife being a cow and wanting a divorce because of some imagined affair. Why would he blame Olivia for that? And then shoot her? Man, any hope of patching things up with Kathy went right out the window when he did THAT.

In short, proofread, rate your fic properly, think your plot through logically, and get a beta reader. Please.

Guess I have a reason to check that inbox from now on. *grins evilly*

Comments

[whirligigged.livejournal.com]

Whoa. That is one of the most...well, surreal fics I have ever read. *snort* This line gets me: Whoa whoa, hold up, first of all you weren’t, also don’t go blaming her for your divorce. I mean...I'm fairly sure that Elliot knows if he was having an affair or not. And did he say anything about blaming her? It's like one of those dreams where everything anyone says is out of the blue. "My feet hurt...with destiny!"

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

I think we were supposed to get that he was blaming Olivia when he said "My own partner Fin!" But the writing is so sloppy that we don't really understand that until he somehow walks off the roof (without killing himself!) and then attacks her with bad grammar and spelling.