It's amazing how the whole tone of a scene can change...

[agilebrit]

Just by changing one character's attitude. The dialogue is almost exactly the same, and the one character is still really pissed off, but now the other character clearly does not like what he did and feels bad about it, rather than being almost cavalier like he was when I originally wrote this.

It makes the other character much more sympathetic, and drives the action going forward much better.

My Writing Buddy is a genius.

Comments

[baron-waste.livejournal.com]

Conan Doyle's “Adventure of the Copper Beeches,” as written:

http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/AdveCopp.shtml


and as dramatised - in Holmes' case, without changing a line! Yet observe how the delivery of those lines by both parties turns the story's droll one-offmanship into a downright quarrel!


http://youtu.be/fDoLB_QxgZ4


- There was a comedy improv troupe called “Warbabies” (for some reason) which did this quite well - they could take the same scene, two characters interacting, and in a flash shift it from stammering high-school play to high-flown Shakespeare to gangsta jive without losing the sense of it. It was fun to watch.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

"No, you can't," he said, crossing his arms and glaring.

"No, you can't," he pleaded.

Three words, so many different ways to say them. It's part of craft, and making the characters say things the way we need them to say them. My one guy came off as kind of an asshole in the first draft of this story, but it's a lot better now.

Eesh. I just hope I can finish the dang thing by the 31st.

[baron-waste.livejournal.com]

“Let's eat, Grandma!”

“Let's eat Grandma!”

Punctuation saves lives.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

INDEED IT DOES.

All right. Time to bang my head against this story instead of dinking around on Yahoo Answers.