*headdesks a hole through my desk*

[agilebrit]

Well, at least I figured out exactly what's been bugging me about that one paragraph that refuses to behave. It's not just the clunky construction of the boring exposition. It's the "show, don't tell" aspect. There's a whole lotta tellin' here, and not much showin'.

So that's awesome. One paragraph is probably going to morph into three. Just what I need in a fifteen-thousand-word behemoth. More words.

Just shoot me.