Oh, god...
Jan. 27th, 2009 12:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
agilebrit"It ain't about you anymore, Jarrett." She put her hand over her face. "And it ain't really been since Ben got took the first time."
This, as I've said before, is a problem. Possibly one that's insurmountable.
We open on Ben. The story is, ultimately, All About Him. And then he spends the next five thousand words...unconscious.
This is bad. And...not fixable, not really. It makes me look like I was flailing around trying to figure out who the story was about. Which, I was, because it was supposed to be about Alex, not Ben, but I don't want my readers actually knowing that.
*headdesks repeatedly*
This, as I've said before, is a problem. Possibly one that's insurmountable.
We open on Ben. The story is, ultimately, All About Him. And then he spends the next five thousand words...unconscious.
This is bad. And...not fixable, not really. It makes me look like I was flailing around trying to figure out who the story was about. Which, I was, because it was supposed to be about Alex, not Ben, but I don't want my readers actually knowing that.
*headdesks repeatedly*
