Okay, well...
Jan. 16th, 2009 10:37 pmThat scene is ten times better. It was "okay" before. But now it pops. *snorgles my Writing Buddy, who suggested a "Hey, Megan, watch this!" scenario*
In fact, I haven't graced y'all with a snippet in awhile, have I? Here, have one:
They'd been in camp for about an hour when Alex called. "Hey, Megan! Watch this."
"Where are you?" Megan's grip on her phone was white-knuckled.
"Look across the river, up on the cliff." A tiny figure waved at them from the clifftop--and leaped.
"Oh my god! Alex!"
A parachute blossomed over his head before she got the exclamation all the way out, and he floated toward the ground. "Piece of cake, safe as houses," he said, and disappeared behind the trees. "Ow. Shit."
"Alex?"
"Ow. Gotta go. Be there in a little while." The call ended, and Megan stared in consternation at the phone. But, true to his word, Alex showed up in camp about a half hour later.
Limping. Still with the manic grin. And reeking of scotch.
"Oh, god, what happened?" Megan moaned.
"Did you know that base-jumping is a huge sport around here? And it's even legal."
"Alex..."
"You should try it sometime."
"What happened to your leg?"
He shrugged, elaborately casual. "Oh, landed wrong, twisted my knee a little and hit a cactus. Nothing big."
"Alex..."
"So, where are we eating tonight?" Alex said blithely.
Oh, god, I love these characters...
In fact, I haven't graced y'all with a snippet in awhile, have I? Here, have one:
They'd been in camp for about an hour when Alex called. "Hey, Megan! Watch this."
"Where are you?" Megan's grip on her phone was white-knuckled.
"Look across the river, up on the cliff." A tiny figure waved at them from the clifftop--and leaped.
"Oh my god! Alex!"
A parachute blossomed over his head before she got the exclamation all the way out, and he floated toward the ground. "Piece of cake, safe as houses," he said, and disappeared behind the trees. "Ow. Shit."
"Alex?"
"Ow. Gotta go. Be there in a little while." The call ended, and Megan stared in consternation at the phone. But, true to his word, Alex showed up in camp about a half hour later.
Limping. Still with the manic grin. And reeking of scotch.
"Oh, god, what happened?" Megan moaned.
"Did you know that base-jumping is a huge sport around here? And it's even legal."
"Alex..."
"You should try it sometime."
"What happened to your leg?"
He shrugged, elaborately casual. "Oh, landed wrong, twisted my knee a little and hit a cactus. Nothing big."
"Alex..."
"So, where are we eating tonight?" Alex said blithely.
Oh, god, I love these characters...
no subject
Date: 2009-01-17 03:58 pm (UTC)you're right, it's a good quick, funny scene.
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Date: 2009-01-17 05:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-17 05:04 pm (UTC)If I remember right, is Alex the one known as Not!Tony?
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Date: 2009-01-17 05:24 pm (UTC)I'm just about ready to send it out for beta. I still need to do something with the very last scene to tighten it up (part of which I've figured out--finally!), but after that I'm ready to release it...well, not into the Wild, but into an enclosure under controlled circumstances. *grin*
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Date: 2009-01-17 07:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-17 07:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-18 04:19 am (UTC)