Okay, problem solved. I guess.

[agilebrit]

I have completed the scene where the bad man tries to suborn not!Pepper's loyalty to not!Tony. I think it's plausible. My Writing Buddy has it now; we'll see if he thinks it's plausible.

That scene added about a thousand words to the not!Iron Man story. Which makes the current wordcount...

Drumroll, please.

10,193.

This is, to date, the longest piece of original fiction I've written. If I could add a thousand words a day to it, then in two months I'd have a novel.

And wouldn't that be a surprising and somewhat revolting development. I mean, I know I've been genre-busting lately with the Faerie Show Fic being a mystery and now this, but to have my first novel be out-and-out romance...

Which is a genre I not only don't read, but studiously avoid...

Um, yeah. That would be weird.

It's like I'm discovering my inner girl or something.

Comments

[lady-moriel.livejournal.com]

Well, I dunno, I thought it worked as a thriller too, and if you upped the thriller/suspense elements a little (which, considering the story and your background, wouldn't be that hard), it could at least be...a romance heavy on the thriller/suspense elements? Okay, so I have no useful ideas...

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Thriller/romance...Is that a genre? I've been so involved in reading SF/F lately that I'm totally out of the loop in other stuff. I know that paranormal romance is huge, but I didn't realize that romance had made the jump to thrillers too. Hm.

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

Yes, but it's an action/adventure romance so that's okay. :)

If you're looking for ways to expand (which I think is very cool, btw) here are two suggestions.

You have the beginnings of a very interesting villian. His desire to get fear as well as money Delve into his motivations a bit. Where does he come from, what is he after, how does he even know who not!Tony is?

You've seriously busted not!Tony up, but aside from a couple mentions of the boulder of pain you don't really get into how he's feeling. Often, some little, annoying pain or irritation will trump bigger pain. Does get ready to shout then have to stop as he reminds himself not to take that big a breath?

Okay, I lied, I have three things. What has kept not!Pepper by his side for ten years. It's obviously not simply loads of cash. What does she see in him, or think she sees in him, that keeps her cleaning up his messes, getting rid of his conquests?

I'm betting you'll have a book before too long. :)

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

The villain is...an interesting problem. I'm not sure I want to do a scene from his POV, because this thing bounces back and forth enough as it is and adding another VP character would be--eh, just not sure I want to spend much time in his head. I guess I have room to do it if it's going to be a novel. *ponders*

Ooo, good idea on the pain thing. I'll have to go through and see where I can expand on that. Expand on everything, really. More emotion, etc. And I think I'm going to add a scene on the plane after the rescue as well. We'll see how far I can stretch that out.

I delved into a little of why not!Pepper has stayed with him for as long as she has in the "suborning" scene. A little thing about kittens and how he's good to his staff. Speaking of kittens, I need to add the cat to the last scene...

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

You don't have to get in the villian's POV to get more background on him. There are all kinds of ways to get tidbits, like having not!Pepper quiz the doctor about their captor or having not!Tony taunt some intel out of him.

I can't wait to read the new bits! You absolutely couldn't resist adding in an animal could you. :)

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

*shamefaced* No, no I couldn't. It's a thing.

I'm making an effort to get the villain to be less MPD than he appears at first glance. He never actually harms not!Pepper, and I'm putting this down to the fact that he's not the type of guy who hurts women and children. A man who thinks of himself as a freedom fighter might have lines he doesn't cross.

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

But what is it that makes not!Tony so despicable to him that he can treat him the way he does, not to achieve an end (like movey for his cause) but to instill fear? I think that has the potential to be extremely fascinating.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

I thought I got into that a little with the envy about everything being so easy for not!Tony. I could probably go into that a little more though.

That's excellent food for thought and probably what everyone's been nagging me about. Thanks!