*beats Antubis*

[agilebrit]

AUGH. My Evil Bunny has a serious lack of motivation here, which has been pointed out by...oh, just about everyone who's commented on it.

*tears out hair*

Part of my problem is that I didn't want to go for the obvious thing that the story points toward. So it takes a sharp left turn into WTF-ville, and I don't set it up enough. The other part of the problem is that I've only got a thousand words to play with here, so when I add words somewhere, I have to subtract words from somewhere else. And finding places to subtract them from is becoming increasingly difficult. Right now I've got a fifty-word leeway.

It was supposed to be a simple thousand-word horror story. WHAT HAPPENED?

**For those new to my flist, Antubis and Flaubert are my Muses. Antubis is the anteater from Kingdom Hospital, and takes care of the darker stuff; Flaubert is Miss Piggy's pet anteater in Muppet Treasure Island, and he's in charge of funny fic. Yes, they're both anteaters. I...have a *cough* slight obsession. Thus the icon--generally the anteaters stealing my sanity are those two.

Comments

[bojojoti.livejournal.com]

Stop beating Antubis! I think he's done a fine job. The Muse giveth; you tweaketh. Tweak, girl!

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

He's supposed to give me the main motivations for my characters too! *stomps foot*

I think I might have something, though.

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

I think one thing you could look at is making your words work harder. I know we're always supposed to do this but with the word limit on this piece I think it would be good to really bear down on it. Look at each word or phrase and see if you can squeeze more specifics out of it, more powerful, active words. Make every word fight for it's right to be in your story.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

It's vanquished and done, hurrah! I'm going to put it away for a couple of days and then come back to it with fresh eyes. :)

[mermaidrain.livejournal.com]

So, going with the bunny story, maybe it can all be solved by a switch of p.o.v. (although this would take away some of the surprise of the ending).

And speaking of bunny toy stories, have you ever read "The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane" by Kate DiCamillo? It's not a horror story, but it is told from the p.o.v. of the bunny. And it's a GREAT story too.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

*laughs* You're working your way toward the post where I vanquish the Bunny. :)

I haven't read that; I'll have to look it up.