agilebrit: (D'Argo -- Anteaters)
[personal profile] agilebrit
So, I sent the WerewolfFic off to my (published) Mom for crit last night. She hasn't gotten back to me on it yet, but the lovely and effulgent [livejournal.com profile] texanfan said something that clicked with me and makes me go "ARGH."

The focus of the story shifts, midway through, from one character to another...and doesn't ever really shift back. And there are things that happen more as internal dialogue OFFSCREEN that really should get a little more time ONSCREEN. And how the hell I slide that in there, I don't know--especially since most of the thing seems to be people yacking back and forth and a whole lot of not much else. Dramatic tension? We don't need no steenking dramatic tension! Or action, for that matter.

I mean, yes, I wanted to write something a little more fluffy after the CatFeet and Merc&theSnake stories, but I think I might have gone just a leetle too far the other way.

And I still suck at description.

*cries*

Also? I don't have the next "thing" yet. The scope of what I was considering for the "Astrobiology and the Sacred" competition is way beyond 5000 words--it might actually be a novel, fer serious--so that particular one is back-burnered for now...but I don't have anything to replace it with, and I'd really like to enter this thing.

Why the hell did I ever think I was a writer?


In other news, we went to the zoo yesterday, and I got some great shots of the cats. One of which begged to be iconed. And so I give you this:

Date: 2007-05-01 04:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] garnigal.livejournal.com
You must be so frustrated. Sorry. I should have caught the focus shift - I do the same thing. Heh, that's probably why I didn't catch it - makes perfect sense to me!

Date: 2007-05-01 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
*sigh* I knew I had the focus shift in there, but I just now decided that that's a bad thing.

My problem is that, to me, Father Tim is a more interesting character than Janice, but she's the one with the "problem." But if I start the story where she comes to him with the problem, then I lose a lot of other things that make the story interesting unless I want to throw in a big ol' block of expository dialogue and I HATE that. Especially since the thing is already short on action.

So, yes, frustrated. Thus all the italics and caplocks...

Date: 2007-05-01 06:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bojojoti.livejournal.com
You write; therefore, you ARE a writer.

Date: 2007-05-01 06:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
*kicks things* I suppose. Sometimes I just feel like a charlatan, though.

Date: 2007-05-01 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
go easy on yourself...

Date: 2007-05-02 01:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
Hey, look, the anonymice support me in comments. Thank you, anonymouse. *hugs*

Date: 2007-05-04 09:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bojojoti.livejournal.com
Some of my very favorite writers felt that way.

I understand what you are saying, however. One of the librarians introduced me to her friend as a writer. I quickly corrected her, and she just as quickly reprimanded me. She informed me that people who write are writers; but I, somehow, feel as though that title should be reserved for the Asimovs and Bradburys and is too glorified a title for me to attain. I have no similar compunction about bestowing the title on other people, though.

Date: 2007-05-02 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] texanfan.livejournal.com
You are a writer! And a very fine one. Please don't let my clumsy critique discourage you!

Date: 2007-05-02 01:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
Your critique was right on the money, dear. It wasn't the crit, it was the fact that I'm really telling TWO very different stories in that fic and don't really know how to reconcile them.

*girds loins* BUT I WILL.

And I still need to figure out what's next...

Date: 2007-05-02 02:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] texanfan.livejournal.com
Yes, you will! Too bad the are we alone questions are running into too long a story. I can certainly see that that would be a serious problem though.

Date: 2007-05-02 02:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
It's not the "are we alone" question, it's more the "what would it mean if we weren't--and found a planet where the Fall in Genesis didn't happen because Adam and Eve said, eh, no thanks, to the serpent?" Because the implications of that...holy cow.

So, I just need to figure out--and finish--a different story than that one. Before June 10th or so.

Date: 2007-05-02 11:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] texanfan.livejournal.com
Oh! Have you read Perelandra by C.S. Lewis?

Date: 2007-05-02 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
Oh, yes, read the whole series. And need to re-read it, because it's full of win. *eyes stack of books that also need reading* Maybe ten years from now...

Date: 2007-05-04 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] texanfan.livejournal.com
Cool. :) C.S. Lewis is my favorite author. His take on a world that didn't Fall I thought was incredible but I bet you've got a unique take on it.

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