Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Yeah, this writing thing. I don't even know, flist.

I'm just not sure that "the Hero is utterly helpless and just trying to hold on to the tiny shreds of his sanity as best he can and not succeeding very well" is Story, let alone Plot. It's not boring, at least not to me, but then, I'm invested in the character (more than I should be, probably). Invested to the point where writing this is giving me the shakes right along with Ben. I actually got physically sick to my stomach during one of the scenes with Fifi.

I spent most of yesterday reading through the thing and seeing if it hangs together. And it does.

But.

It seems that Ben is spending about half this thing either in the throes of a panic attack, a flashback, or a nightmare. He's in a horrific situation and can't do a blessed thing to help himself, although he does make an escape attempt that fails miserably. He doesn't have any control except what Ange grants him--and, while she's pretty free-and-easy with it, it's still not much. He even makes the remark that he's "getting real tired of being the Damsel in Distress." Also, for someone who's not getting any sleep, he's sleeping an awful lot. Yes, I see the contradiction there.

NOT ONLY THAT.

But as much emotion as I've got here--emotion that has me shaking while writing it, with my gut roiling--I'm still afraid that it's not enough, especially toward the end of this plot arc when it really starts spiraling out of control. Both Ben and Ange are terrified that he's losing it completely, but I'm not sure I convey that very well.

Frak. Me.

AND.

Now that I've figured out who my villain is, 100,000 words is seeming too short for everything I still need to cram in here. I need to give him scenes. I need to give Janni more scenes. I need to give Alex and Megan any scenes. And I still need to figure out how it actually ends. I hate to say that anything is "off the table," but I'm pretty sure at this point that "killing Ange" is out of the question, no matter how heroic her death would be.

So, again I say: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

I guess this is why we call it a "first draft." And why those of us who don't outline say "the first draft is the outline."

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Yeah, this writing thing. I don't even know, flist.

I'm just not sure that "the Hero is utterly helpless and just trying to hold on to the tiny shreds of his sanity as best he can and not succeeding very well" is Story, let alone Plot. It's not boring, at least not to me, but then, I'm invested in the character (more than I should be, probably). Invested to the point where writing this is giving me the shakes right along with Ben. I actually got physically sick to my stomach during one of the scenes with Fifi.

I spent most of yesterday reading through the thing and seeing if it hangs together. And it does.

But.

It seems that Ben is spending about half this thing either in the throes of a panic attack, a flashback, or a nightmare. He's in a horrific situation and can't do a blessed thing to help himself, although he does make an escape attempt that fails miserably. He doesn't have any control except what Ange grants him--and, while she's pretty free-and-easy with it, it's still not much. He even makes the remark that he's "getting real tired of being the Damsel in Distress." Also, for someone who's not getting any sleep, he's sleeping an awful lot. Yes, I see the contradiction there.

NOT ONLY THAT.

But as much emotion as I've got here--emotion that has me shaking while writing it, with my gut roiling--I'm still afraid that it's not enough, especially toward the end of this plot arc when it really starts spiraling out of control. Both Ben and Ange are terrified that he's losing it completely, but I'm not sure I convey that very well.

Frak. Me.

AND.

Now that I've figured out who my villain is, 100,000 words is seeming too short for everything I still need to cram in here. I need to give him scenes. I need to give Janni more scenes. I need to give Alex and Megan any scenes. And I still need to figure out how it actually ends. I hate to say that anything is "off the table," but I'm pretty sure at this point that "killing Ange" is out of the question, no matter how heroic her death would be.

So, again I say: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

I guess this is why we call it a "first draft." And why those of us who don't outline say "the first draft is the outline."

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Which, I believe, I've already said once today.

But I've been looking over the QueryThing for the not!kkbb/im novelthing.

Dude, I suck at this. Like a Hoover.

Send Southern Comfort, plz.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Which, I believe, I've already said once today.

But I've been looking over the QueryThing for the not!kkbb/im novelthing.

Dude, I suck at this. Like a Hoover.

Send Southern Comfort, plz.