Drabble for challenge100 LJ Community

Title: Moment of Decision
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG
Words: 100
Disclaimer: Not mine, they're Whedon's. *sob*
Written for: challenge100's "all is not lost" drabble challenge
Notes: Spike's thoughts directly after the attempted rape in "Seeing Red."

---

What in the hell had I been thinking? Well. That was the problem, wasn't it? Thinking hadn't had anything to do with tonight.

Not a monster, not a man. This sodding chip has made me weak--vulnerable to Buffy. But my demon makes it impossible for her to love me. And after tonight, she'll never trust me again.

Unless.

I've heard about this demon. In Africa. He can do things. He can make me what I was. She'd have to love me then, right? If I did that for her?

All is not lost. Not by a bloody long shot.

Drabble for challenge100 LJ Community

Title: Moment of Decision
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG
Words: 100
Disclaimer: Not mine, they're Whedon's. *sob*
Written for: challenge100's "all is not lost" drabble challenge
Notes: Spike's thoughts directly after the attempted rape in "Seeing Red."

---

What in the hell had I been thinking? Well. That was the problem, wasn't it? Thinking hadn't had anything to do with tonight.

Not a monster, not a man. This sodding chip has made me weak--vulnerable to Buffy. But my demon makes it impossible for her to love me. And after tonight, she'll never trust me again.

Unless.

I've heard about this demon. In Africa. He can do things. He can make me what I was. She'd have to love me then, right? If I did that for her?

All is not lost. Not by a bloody long shot.

Yet more randomness

[staring at recent entries]

Well. Haven't had a whole lot to say lately. Here a drabble, there a drabble. Bleh. I've been feeling really undermotivated this last week or so. I've been listing these widgets for a friend on eBay...and I'm to the point where I don't really want to anymore. To be honest, it's been stressing me out somewhat, because they're kind of breakable, and I hate packing them, and I hate being responsible for them. The extra money is nice, but not necessary, for me. He needs the money, but he wouldn't get as much if he listed the widgets himself, because he doesn't have the feedback to back up his reputation like I do. So... *sigh*

And then there are the ongoing battles with Da Boy. He'll be three in a week. And I'm almost at my wit's end. He doesn't respect me. He doesn't listen to me. Nothing I do seems to make a dent in his attitude. Sometimes I really wonder if I'm cut out to be a parent.

Heh. My problems seem small in comparison to the ones my friends are having. But it's the small things that wear you down. Like dripping water on a rock.

And I may be a little PMS-y right now too. Ugh.

Yet more randomness

[staring at recent entries]

Well. Haven't had a whole lot to say lately. Here a drabble, there a drabble. Bleh. I've been feeling really undermotivated this last week or so. I've been listing these widgets for a friend on eBay...and I'm to the point where I don't really want to anymore. To be honest, it's been stressing me out somewhat, because they're kind of breakable, and I hate packing them, and I hate being responsible for them. The extra money is nice, but not necessary, for me. He needs the money, but he wouldn't get as much if he listed the widgets himself, because he doesn't have the feedback to back up his reputation like I do. So... *sigh*

And then there are the ongoing battles with Da Boy. He'll be three in a week. And I'm almost at my wit's end. He doesn't respect me. He doesn't listen to me. Nothing I do seems to make a dent in his attitude. Sometimes I really wonder if I'm cut out to be a parent.

Heh. My problems seem small in comparison to the ones my friends are having. But it's the small things that wear you down. Like dripping water on a rock.

And I may be a little PMS-y right now too. Ugh.