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You know, if I could keep my own frakking characterization in mind for this thing, I'd be a lot better off.
Ben is pissed right now. (Also, afraid.) And when he gets pissed, he doesn't run on the way Alex does. He chops. And thus this:
Becomes this:
Gee, that's better. *snarl*
Because, yeah, that first sentence would be fine if it was in Alex's POV. But it's not. And I know I should just be writing it and leave the editing for later, but it bugs. And if it bugs, then I'm blocked.
ETA: And, as the handsome and talented
speakr2customrs points out, the Glock does not have a safety you can play with, with your thumb and I'm an idiot. The Hubby or my Writing Buddy probably would have caught that, but I'm glad someone around here is paying attention. Thanks,
speakr2customrs!
Ben is pissed right now. (Also, afraid.) And when he gets pissed, he doesn't run on the way Alex does. He chops. And thus this:
Ben found a tall rock and sat on top of it, flipping the safety on and off hisGlockSmith with his thumb, which he knew violated all sorts of rules, but he was at the point where he didn't care.
Becomes this:
Ben found a tall rock and sat on top of it, flipping the safety on and off hisGlockSmith with his thumb. That violated all sorts of rules. He didn't care.
Gee, that's better. *snarl*
Because, yeah, that first sentence would be fine if it was in Alex's POV. But it's not. And I know I should just be writing it and leave the editing for later, but it bugs. And if it bugs, then I'm blocked.
ETA: And, as the handsome and talented
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