Solid State, Chapter 3

[agilebrit]

Chapter 1 is here.
Chapter 2 is here.

Chapter 3: Connection

"Everyone wants a piece of me," I complained to Fred the next morning in her office. "Be damned if I'm going to let them scrape my strings like a second-hand fiddle."

She started to put her hand on my shoulder, and a tingle shot through me as she...touched it? Her eyes widened. "Did you feel that?"

I grinned back at her. "Yeah. Guess I'm more real around you, luv."

She looked embarrassed and changed the subject. "You're not getting sucked into Hell or anything, are you?"

Sweet of her to worry. I suddenly realized that Fred seemed to be the only one who was interested in me for my own sake and not what she could get out of me. Did she...? I pushed the thought firmly away. My problem was a colorful enigma to her, nothing more. "Naw, pet. That was Pavayne's gig, not anyone else's. Some guy at the bar last night, though...if he was serious, the bloody Powers That Be have taken an interest now. Not enough that I've got the Senior Partners, Angel, and Buffy! You shouldn't sneak up on people like that; it's not nice," I said to the Slayer, who'd walked in behind me.

"We need to talk, Spike."

I wrapped my duster around me. Still wasn't sure how that worked, exactly, but I wasn't going to question it at a time like this. I mean, I wasn't corporeal, and neither was the coat...Never mind. "Fine, talk, then."

She gave Fred a glance. "Alone?"

"I'm sure there's an empty office somewhere about, even if Angel won't give me one. I'll come back later?" I said.

Fred smiled, a little tremulously. "Sure. I hope I'll have something for you."

"Thanks, luv. You're a peach."

Did she blush? Surely not, I thought as Buffy and I left to find someplace private. Buffy closed the door of a vacant room behind us and leaned on the desk, looking everywhere but at me. "Why didn't you call when you came back?"

"Well, there was this little thing about not being able to pick up a phone," I answered, a little more impatiently than maybe I should have. "You could ask your precious Angel the same question."

"Oh, I did, believe me," she answered with a flash of anger. "He didn't want to 'bother me.' Bother me! As if...ugh. Spike. I meant what I said, back when you were going all glowy. I know you said you didn't believe me--"

I interrupted her, not wanting to go there. "Buffy, has it occurred to you that maybe we're just not meant to be together? Look at all the obstacles. Vampire and Slayer, for one. I tried to kill you several times, for another. Not to mention other, even more hurtful things." Now it was my turn to glance away from her.

"But you got your soul for me! That's, like, an automatic do-over."

"What, because of all that utter bollocks about it not being 'me' who tried to rape you?" I snapped. "Angel might be able to play that card to make himself feel better, but I'm not going to fool myself that way. If it wasn't me, then I've got nothing to feel guilty about, right? Balls."

"Fine, it was you. I still forgave you for that. A long time ago. I thought we'd moved past it. So, what, you don't love me anymore?"

Bloody hell. I ran my insubstantial hand through my immaterial hair. "It's not that at all, Buffy. You know I love you to distraction. Always will. I'm just not sure I'm good for you. And I don't want you to risk yourself for me. You damn near died at the bottom of the Hellmouth, and I won't have you doing that again."

"Maybe that's a decision you should let me make." She stood up and paced furiously around the room. "You know, I'm sick and tired of all you men deciding what's best for me. Angel came to LA after the Mayor's Ascension because it was best for me. Giles moved to England after Willow resurrected me because it was best for me. Riley went to South America because he was holding me back. No one ever asks my opinion." Her voice faded to a whisper, and she sat back on the desk, her face in her hands. "No one ever asks what I think."

She was right, of course. What a lot of patronizing wankers we were. "We just want you to be happy," I said lamely.

She barked out a bitter laugh. "Is that why you all leave me? So I'll be happy? Thanks ever so much, but don't do me any favors, okay?" She leaped to her feet and strode from the room, slamming the door.

All I could do was let her go.

###

Wes sat on his office couch, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling. "Come in, Spike. No, you're not interrupting anything. I was just wondering if there might yet be a way I can break Lilah's contract with Wolfram and Hart."

"Didn't they dump a bunch of law stuff in Charlie's head? Maybe he'd know."

He shot me a look. "People underestimate you to their detriment, I think. I should have thought of that long ago." He got up and picked up his phone. Before I could hear what he was going to say, I was yanked through the floor and down to the basement. Again.

"Dammit, Lilah. There has to be a better way of getting my attention than that. It's very bloody annoying. Have me paged or something."

"Yeah, I'll do that next time," she said in a deadpan way that told me she'd get me down there any way she liked, and the more disagreeable the better. "Why is the Slayer here?"

I shrugged. "Angel told her I was back. She caught the next flight out."

"Really?" An exquisitely groomed eyebrow went up. "You and her have a thing?"

"Don't see why that's any of your bloody business. Wesley, by the way, is still trying to figure out how to break your contract."

Her jaw tightened. "Even if he does, I'll be just as dead. Remind him that he, you know, chopped my head off."

I laughed. "I've seen proof time and again that being dead doesn't necessarily mean staying dead. If I know our Wes, he's not just trying to break your contract, he's trying to bring you back to the land of the living as well."

She shook her head and smiled ruefully. "Well, full marks to him for trying. I'd have thought he'd be panting after Little Miss Science Nerd by now."

"I bloody hope not," I muttered.

She raised her eyebrow again. "Anyway," she said, switching tracks. "The Senior Partners want the Slayer gone, back to Italy. Her being here is...disturbing."

"Yeah, they're not the only ones who're disturbed," I muttered.

"And her sister? What's up with her? She's a power to be reckoned with, according to the higher-ups."

"Dawn? She's just a teenage girl," I said, not wanting the Senior Partners to get any sniff whatsoever that the Bit was anything more than what she appeared. I had the feeling I wasn't fooling Lilah; the woman wasn't stupid. But I hoped she'd leave it alone, at least for the moment.

"Uh-huh. What about news on your front? Any luck getting you back into some semblance of solidity? The Senior Partners are still unhappy that you've made an appearance at all, by the way. They like to control things a little better than that."

"Some guy at the Peppermint Stick last night claimed that he was a messenger of some sort. That I was a Champion for the Powers That Be." My voice was heavy with sarcasm, even while I was glad that we'd gotten off the subject of Dawn.

"Really? What did he look like?"

"Pretty ordinary. Shorter than me, badly dressed. Fairly heavy Irish accent."

She clicked her tongue. "Well, if he's legit, then the Powers That Be have given up on Angel. And if he's not... Hm. Interesting. Think he'll contact you again?"

"I told him to bugger off, and he said this was a last thing for him to do. I've got my doubts. Lilah." The raw pain on her face when I'd mentioned Wesley made my soul ache, even though she was, by definition, evil. "Our Wes will do everything he can. You know that. If there's a way to do it, he'll find it."

She took a deep breath. Funny how old habits don't die when the body does. "Yeah. Tell him...tell him I still have that dollar bill."

###

Late that afternoon, Angel, Wes, Gunn, Fred, and Buffy gathered in Angel's office, loading for bear. "Oh, good," I said. "Going out to kill things?"

"There's a nest of Ra'nishna demons holed up in one of the local warehouses," Wes informed me, sighting down a crossbow.

"Nasty buggers. Mind if I tag along?"

Angel curled his lip. "Not like you can do anything. What are you going to contribute?"

"Clever quips. And it's not like you can stop me." Only an effort of will prevented me from giving him the two-fingered salute.

Fred checked the settings on her flamethrower. "I'm still working on your problem, Spike."

I smiled back and reassured her. "I know, pet. But you can't do that twenty-four/seven, now, can you?" Rubbing my hands together in anticipation, I said, "Let's ride."

Buffy had watched the entire exchange. "Maybe you should stay here with Dawn, Spike."

"And miss the fun? Not on your life. Been too long since I've been able to get my violence on with something besides Angel that deserved it. I can hit things if I concentrate."

"Yeah, hitting things? Not on the list," Angel said. "More like dismembering things."

"Oh, screw you, Peaches. I'm going."

The sun was headed toward the western horizon; Angel had timed it so that we'd hit the warehouse just after it went down. The Ra'nishna demons had taken over one of the upper floors, and the building itself had apparently been condemned and abandoned. That point was brought home when Angel opened the door and the hinges screeched at him.

"Well, there goes any chance of surprise," he grouched.

"They know we're here, but we don't know how many of them there are or exactly where," Buffy said. "How about Spike goes in and spies out the territory and sees what's the what? At least he won't make any noise."

I smirked at Angel. "See? I can be useful after all. Back in a flash."

I found the demons up a staircase to a second-floor section overlooking the main floor about fifteen feet below. Holding onto things hadn't been the only new trick I'd learned from Pavayne; I could also make myself invisible, and float, if I tried hard enough. I poked my head through the wooden floor and had a look around. Crap, they'd seen us come in, all right, and they had armed themselves to the teeth. Not that they actually needed weapons, with teeth like that. Broadswords and battleaxes seemed to be their armament of choice, and there were eight of them to our five--not counting me, since I was density-impaired. Lovely.

"Only one way up to them," I reported. "Good news is, they're all on that second floor, so if we can kill them, there aren't any more."

"How many of us can go up that staircase at once?" Angel asked.

"No more than two, I think. Might be best to have our fetching mad scientist go up with her bloody great flamethrower and clear us a way first."

"That's a s--" Angel paused. "...really good idea, actually. Since when are you strategy guy?"

"Spike has layers," Fred said, then shut her mouth with a snap.

Angel gave her a look. So did Buffy. Was that jealousy on the Slayer's face? She noticed me staring at her and cleared her expression before I could say something appropriately inappropriate, and then it was time to attack.

We swarmed up the stairs behind Fred. The demons waited at the top, grinning at the sight of the tiny woman charging them and yelling like a banshee. Their grins disappeared when her flamethrower came on and incinerated one where it stood. The others retreated, and we followed and engaged. Angel and Buffy took on two apiece, while the others had one demon each.

My girls found themselves backed up against the edge of the floor, which dropped off to concrete fifteen feet below with no railing. Watching Fred from the corner of my eye, I maneuvered around behind one of Buffy's opponents and punched it hard on the snout when it turned to face me--and sneered at it when its counterstroke went harmlessly through my torso.

I wound up and clobbered it again. It staggered backwards and bumped into Buffy's adversary.

These demons might have been big and toothy, but smart they weren't. The other demon turned around and began yelling and gesticulating at the one I'd been fighting. Its expression was almost comically surprised when Buffy's sword skewered it through the heart from behind and sent it crashing down. The other Ra'nishna roared and attacked her, but she was more than capable of handling it on her own, so I looked over to see how Freddi was doing.

She held a demon at bay with her flamethrower, and I noticed with alarm that the floor in front of her was on fire. "Fred! Get out!" The wooden slats beneath her--and Buffy, who'd just dispatched her demon--collapsed.

Somehow, I leaped and caught Fred on the way down. As we hurtled toward the cement together, I chanted to myself, "Concentrate, concentrate, concen--Ow." I landed on my back, Fred on top of me. Buffy had grabbed the edge of the floor and hung above us, while flaming debris rained down. I wrapped my arms tighter around Fred and rolled until we were out of the way, hunching my duster over my head to shield us from the fire. Seconds later, I felt someone pounding on my back...

And then I blacked out.

###

I came to in the van we'd taken to the warehouse, my head pillowed in Fred's lap, her fingers stroking my hair. I muzzily thought that it felt rather nice, and realized with a violent start that I could feel, which was new.

Fred apparently noticed the twitch. "Shh," she said. "You're all right, and we're on our way back to the office."

"What happened?" My voice was hoarse.

"The floor collapsed and you broke my fall. Some of the flooring landed on your back and set it on fire, and Buffy beat it out. And somehow, I don't know how, you're solid again. We need to get you back to the lab so I can run some tests."

"All right, luv. You're the boss...Think I've got some broken ribs. And I'm hungry. Did we win?"

She choked back a laugh. "Yeah. We won."

"He's awake?" Buffy's voice, from the seat in front of us.

"Can't hide anything from her, can we, Freddi?" I sat up regretfully, wincing at the pain in my side. To my surprise, Fred scooted closer to me and slid under my arm. I stiffened a little, feeling her holding her breath and her heart speeding up, then relaxed and squeezed her shoulders gently. She let out the breath and snuggled a bit closer.

Buffy had watched the entire thing, and her expression ran the gamut from shocked to upset to, finally, resigned. She turned back to face the front, and I thought, We're going to have to talk.

Here and now, though? Fred was a warm, comfortable presence at my side. If she hadn't made the move she had, I would never have thought she had any feelings about me. I'd figured I was an interesting puzzle for her, nothing more. Oh, there'd been little signals, shy gestures and looks--but I'd been thick and missed most of them, now that I came to think about it.

For now, I just decided to breathe in the scent of her hair.

###

The Star Trek gizmo beeped as I drank down a nice warm cup of pig and otter blood. Fred looked at the readout and frowned, while Buffy and Dawn hovered anxiously. Dawn kept touching me to make sure I was really real, and every time she did, the machine beeped louder.

The tone of the machine changed, just as the familiar unpleasant tingle began in my fingertips again and my ears started buzzing. "Spike?" Buffy's voice was alarmed.

"What does that mean?" Dawn asked.

"Oh, Lord, not again." Fred set the gadget down and grabbed my wrist. "Spike! Concentrate. Come on, you can do it."

The instant Fred's hand closed around my arm, the tingle and buzzing went away, and the beeping went back to what it had been before. She craned her neck to look at the readout, then let go of my wrist and picked up the machine--which immediately began freaking out. Saying a word I never thought I'd hear come out of her mouth, she clutched my hand again.

And the machine went back to what passed for "normal."

The four of us exchanged wide-eyed glances. I swallowed a couple of times and said, "Guess you're my anchor, pet."

"Yeah? Then I guess you're going to have to come home with me."

"Oh, Freddi, you don't have to--"

"Don't I? Be damned if you're going ghosty again on my watch, mister. Not if I can prevent it." She stared at our joined hands. "And apparently I can."

Comments

[whirligigged.livejournal.com]

Whee. "Layers." "My girls." "Anchor."

Squee! Doyle. Mwah. And Lilah. More mwah - whatever it is. ^_^

I'm so sad! Only one more chapter? Ah, well, at least it doesn't drag on or anything. I can never decide if I'd rather wait and have more and have a little but right away. >.< It's like watching TV and waiting for commercials or something!