Well, there's one scene...
Sep. 5th, 2009 01:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
agilebritvastly improved. I love Ben when he's conflicted. Poor guy has no idea which way is up in that scene. And, contrary to Popular Opinion, the Healing Vagina isn't all that. It is, in fact, making him worse, not better.
Mainly because it's the wrong vagina. And thus, he hates himself. *evil laughter*
My climax is teh suxxors, though. It needs MOAR.
More what? I don't know. I just know it's...flat. Lacks punch. I need to look at the language of it, I guess. It's a good outline of what happens, but I think there may be more telling than showing there. I'll let that percolate for awhile.
Mainly because it's the wrong vagina. And thus, he hates himself. *evil laughter*
My climax is teh suxxors, though. It needs MOAR.
More what? I don't know. I just know it's...flat. Lacks punch. I need to look at the language of it, I guess. It's a good outline of what happens, but I think there may be more telling than showing there. I'll let that percolate for awhile.
