agilebrit: (Schlock Overkill)
[personal profile] agilebrit
I'm going to discuss one of my linguistic pet peeves right now. Those of you who have no interest in writing meta can just scroll on by. These thoughts were brought to the surface by a discussion of the Oscars with the handsome and talented [livejournal.com profile] kurukami, and the movie title "There Will Be Blood."

Which has to be, like, the lamest title ever.

Now, I freely admit, I've come up with a few clunkers in my time. My least favorite title for an original story of my own is "Guardians of Public Safety." However, if I ever put the word "there" in one of my titles, unless it's referring to an actual place? Shoot me.

Seriously, "There Will Be Blood"? It sounds like a bad zombie movie with giant spiders and vampires thrown in just for fun. It's cliche, it's tired, it's boring, and it's pretentious. Many other words can do the job of the "there" in that title, and do it better and more descriptively. What will the blood be doing? Flowing? Spattering? Running? "Blood Will Run in the Streets," while not much better, is better than that. Even if a character in the movie says this line (which I can totally picture in an Oscar-nominated film, don't get me started), "There Will Be Blood" is still a horrible title.

And this brings me to the use of "there" in prose. "There was a dog sitting in the doorway." UGH UGH UGH. NO. DON'T DO THIS. Not only does it start with the hated "there," but it's passive. "A dog sat in the doorway." Doesn't that sound better? Nine times out of ten, you can either expunge the word completely or rephrase the sentence to make it do more work and sound stronger.

The only time I'll tolerate that word at the beginning of a sentence in my own stories is in dialogue, because that's the way people actually talk. Otherwise? Horrible horrible word. I just went through the Giant Bugs fic and got rid of all but one instance, and that instance was part of a "here, there, that other place" sequence.

"It" is another one of those words. "It was raining." WHAT was raining? This doesn't tell us anything about the rain. Make your sentences work harder than that. "Rain drizzled from the sky." "Rain slashed at the ground in torrents." Don't get urple with it, but for Pete's sake, you can do better than "there" and "it."

Date: 2008-02-25 04:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inlovewithnight.livejournal.com
Er...respectfully disagree. I think "There Will Be Blood" is a really evocative title. It's implied violence, a threat, indirect and ambiguous.

Date: 2008-02-25 04:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
Sorry. It just makes me roll my eyes. I know nothing more about this movie than the title and I'm completely turned off. :(

Date: 2008-02-25 04:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inlovewithnight.livejournal.com
Sorry, didn't mean to sound snippy. Too much thesis today. :\

Date: 2008-02-25 04:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
NP, dear. *hugs* Thesis-ing can make anyone snippy.

I've been in editing mode all day myself, and thus my pet fic peeves are at the top of my mind. And the word "there" is right at the top of the list.

Date: 2008-02-25 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bojojoti.livejournal.com
I appreciate the rant. I don't particularly mind that title, but I can wholeheartedly endorse your stance in favor of better writing.

Date: 2008-02-25 05:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
I just saw it (didn't actually watch the Oscars, but [livejournal.com profile] kurukami gave me a blow by blow description) way too many times tonight. When I hate your movie because of the title, that's generally a bad thing, ne?

Of course, that's my peeve. And I'm certainly not saying it should be everyone's. :)

Date: 2008-02-25 05:48 am (UTC)
ext_15169: Self-portrait (Default)
From: [identity profile] speakr2customrs.livejournal.com
I believe that the title "There Will Be Blood" is an attempt to attract the "Princess Bride" audience, who will remember Inigo Montoya's classic line "There will be blood tonight!", and might perhaps be subconsciously impelled to go to the lame Oilman versus Preacher movie despite the total lack of actual relevance to "The Princess Bride". I hope that this strategy fails miserably.

On the use of 'there'?

Date: 2008-02-25 05:51 am (UTC)
ext_15169: Self-portrait (Default)
From: [identity profile] speakr2customrs.livejournal.com
Perhaps you ought to rethink your icon text (which I love, by the way) in the light of your linguistic peeve.

Re: On the use of 'there'?

Date: 2008-02-25 05:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
Hee! No can do, sadly. It's a direct quote from Schlock Mercenary's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates." *ponders the irony of using that icon for that rant, and decides I can live with it*

Date: 2008-02-25 06:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
Well, yes, it was great when Inigo Montoya said it. He can get away with saying something like that. Your average schmoe can't.

Date: 2008-02-25 11:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baron-waste.livejournal.com

He holds him with his skinny hand,
`There was a ship,' quoth he.
`Hold off ! unhand me, grey-beard loon !'
Eftsoons his hand dropt he.


Eftsoons. Whatta language.

Date: 2008-02-25 01:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myfeetshowit.livejournal.com
I have a hate affair with 'it' constructions. It leads to sentences like the infamous, 'It was a dark and stormy night.'

'There' constructions are right behind it, in the hate parade.

Date: 2008-02-25 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
YAY! I'm not the only one!

Date: 2008-02-25 04:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com
And see, that one has the "direct quotation" exception...

Date: 2008-03-04 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-moriel.livejournal.com
Guessing you don't think much of Hemingway, then. :p

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