Hello, Monday. I hate you.

Because it's time for the Weekly Word Count, and I basically sucked this week. I hit the putative goal, but only because I pushed through and wrote the (part of) the scene that's been giving me fits all week.

Note to self: It's allowed to suck. This is why we call it a First Draft. Or, in this case, a Vague Outline. A hundred-thousand-word Vague Outline, but still.

Last week's word count: 101,404
This week's word count: 103,240
Word count for the week: 1,836

*squints*

*sighs*

*goes back to smacking the snot out of Ben, who may be woefully outmatched here*

WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS TO MYSELF.

Hello, Monday. I hate you.

Because it's time for the Weekly Word Count, and I basically sucked this week. I hit the putative goal, but only because I pushed through and wrote the (part of) the scene that's been giving me fits all week.

Note to self: It's allowed to suck. This is why we call it a First Draft. Or, in this case, a Vague Outline. A hundred-thousand-word Vague Outline, but still.

Last week's word count: 101,404
This week's word count: 103,240
Word count for the week: 1,836

*squints*

*sighs*

*goes back to smacking the snot out of Ben, who may be woefully outmatched here*

WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS TO MYSELF.

Monday Maunderings...

Dude, I don't even know. I was torn between twisting the knife in Janni's heart or showing Ben in Tactical Mode, and I think...

Yeah, Tactical Mode wins. I've woobified the poor guy so much, now it's time to show him being awesome. Er. While still woobified. Because, damn.

Therefore, without further ado:

"He wants to hurt you where you live, puppy. Killing you outright would be too easy."

"Oh, god," he said again. "I am so, so sorry."

Her arms tightened around him. "Stop it. Lots of things look good on you, but self-flagellation isn't one of them. This is no one's fault but Rutger's." She continued to pet him. "Tactical mode, Ben. You have to think, because I'm out of options." Maybe she could push him into remembering his army training.

"My brain hurts. Everything hurts."

"I know. I'd take the pain, but I can't because of the sodding garlic. Easy does it."

He was silent for awhile, his breathing labored. She nearly thought he'd gone to sleep and was getting ready to shake him, when he said, "Game is rigged. We're losing. Change the game. Change the rules."

"Aye..." she said, hesitantly.

"I'm dying, Ange. I don't come back from this. The silver and the wolfsbane have finished me. All I can do--"

"Oh, puppy, no..."

"All I can do," he said, relentless, "is get you and Janni out. Ostheim wants me. Take me out of the equation, and he lets you two go."

"Do not ask me to kill you," she said, her voice low. "I can't do it. Not again."

"Not kill."

What he was getting at hit her like a sledgehammer. She felt dizzy. "Turn you?"

His gaze was direct. "You see any other way out of this?"

"Saints preserve us. You hate vampires, Benji."

"Present company excepted. But, been a vampire before. Wasn't bad. Could do it again." He winced, but his voice firmed. "Flatlined last time. They all thought I was dead, even the doctor. Might fool Ostheim long enough. And then if he's in the room when I wake up..." He bared his teeth. "Let's just say I wouldn't want to be him."

Of course, I still need to come up with an actual good reason that my villain would put an unrestrained Ange in the same room as a helpless Ben. For several hours. I can have him get unexpectedly called away or something so that they're alone for a lot longer than the guy thought, that part's easy to handwave, but I need why he'd put her there in the first place. Because I don't like writing stories where the plot turns on a character being stupid.

Monday Maunderings...

Dude, I don't even know. I was torn between twisting the knife in Janni's heart or showing Ben in Tactical Mode, and I think...

Yeah, Tactical Mode wins. I've woobified the poor guy so much, now it's time to show him being awesome. Er. While still woobified. Because, damn.

Therefore, without further ado:

"He wants to hurt you where you live, puppy. Killing you outright would be too easy."

"Oh, god," he said again. "I am so, so sorry."

Her arms tightened around him. "Stop it. Lots of things look good on you, but self-flagellation isn't one of them. This is no one's fault but Rutger's." She continued to pet him. "Tactical mode, Ben. You have to think, because I'm out of options." Maybe she could push him into remembering his army training.

"My brain hurts. Everything hurts."

"I know. I'd take the pain, but I can't because of the sodding garlic. Easy does it."

He was silent for awhile, his breathing labored. She nearly thought he'd gone to sleep and was getting ready to shake him, when he said, "Game is rigged. We're losing. Change the game. Change the rules."

"Aye..." she said, hesitantly.

"I'm dying, Ange. I don't come back from this. The silver and the wolfsbane have finished me. All I can do--"

"Oh, puppy, no..."

"All I can do," he said, relentless, "is get you and Janni out. Ostheim wants me. Take me out of the equation, and he lets you two go."

"Do not ask me to kill you," she said, her voice low. "I can't do it. Not again."

"Not kill."

What he was getting at hit her like a sledgehammer. She felt dizzy. "Turn you?"

His gaze was direct. "You see any other way out of this?"

"Saints preserve us. You hate vampires, Benji."

"Present company excepted. But, been a vampire before. Wasn't bad. Could do it again." He winced, but his voice firmed. "Flatlined last time. They all thought I was dead, even the doctor. Might fool Ostheim long enough. And then if he's in the room when I wake up..." He bared his teeth. "Let's just say I wouldn't want to be him."

Of course, I still need to come up with an actual good reason that my villain would put an unrestrained Ange in the same room as a helpless Ben. For several hours. I can have him get unexpectedly called away or something so that they're alone for a lot longer than the guy thought, that part's easy to handwave, but I need why he'd put her there in the first place. Because I don't like writing stories where the plot turns on a character being stupid.