Had a meeting with...

My Writing Buddy last night.

And he says that, after Ben wakes up from being rescued from Prison Island...

I'm too easy on him.

He thinks that Ben should have a complete psychotic break.

And considering that this right here is the last thing Ben remembers:

"Can you put me to sleep, Ange?"

She caught the double meaning. And wondered. She'd never used the Thrall to make someone die before. Make them pliant while draining them, oh, aye, but never to actually kill them. Perez had confiscated her silver knife, and she was going to have words with him about Ben's treatment. "I can try."

"Ohfuck--" He strained against the straps, panting between clenched teeth. All she could do was grasp his hand while he rode it out. His grip was so weak--he should have been crushing her fingers, not barely holding on. "If I promised to be a good dog and not Change," he wheezed, when it was over, "do you think they'd take the damned wolfsbane off?" He coughed, and bright red blood flecked his lips.

"I'm sorry, puppy." She stroked his chest. "But, here, look at me. Let me see what I can do..."

He turned those blue, blue eyes to hers. Bruised from exhaustion, pain, and the beating, one of them with a burst capillary bleeding into the white, and she clenched her fist around her anger and made it work for her. Stroking him up and down with the backs of her fingers, from throat to navel, she whispered to him, "There you are. I love you."

He exhaled, hard. "I know."

Tears prickled her eyes. Steeling herself, she reached in and pulled, starting with the pain, sending it away into the ether. The fear went next. "Sleep, puppy."

His eyelids closed, and it was her turn to exhale hard as she caught an errant Love you too and then I'm sorry, Janni from his mind before it blanked out. Oh, god. She steeled her resolve. "Sleep for me and--" She choked. Never wake up were supposed to be the next words, but Perez slammed the door open. Not late, for once in his life. She cursed. Of all the shit timing--

So, Ben fully expects to wake up dead. To wake up on a luxury yacht in the arms of his wife? Yeah, he's so not going to believe what he's seeing...

And he doesn't, in my original version. But he goes with it because not doing so is almost unbearable. But my Writing Buddy is right. He needs to dive right back into don't-touch-me mode, because with all he's just been through, and the fact that his mind has been known to play nasty tricks on him before--

Yeah.

*evil laughter*

Had a meeting with...

My Writing Buddy last night.

And he says that, after Ben wakes up from being rescued from Prison Island...

I'm too easy on him.

He thinks that Ben should have a complete psychotic break.

And considering that this right here is the last thing Ben remembers:

"Can you put me to sleep, Ange?"

She caught the double meaning. And wondered. She'd never used the Thrall to make someone die before. Make them pliant while draining them, oh, aye, but never to actually kill them. Perez had confiscated her silver knife, and she was going to have words with him about Ben's treatment. "I can try."

"Ohfuck--" He strained against the straps, panting between clenched teeth. All she could do was grasp his hand while he rode it out. His grip was so weak--he should have been crushing her fingers, not barely holding on. "If I promised to be a good dog and not Change," he wheezed, when it was over, "do you think they'd take the damned wolfsbane off?" He coughed, and bright red blood flecked his lips.

"I'm sorry, puppy." She stroked his chest. "But, here, look at me. Let me see what I can do..."

He turned those blue, blue eyes to hers. Bruised from exhaustion, pain, and the beating, one of them with a burst capillary bleeding into the white, and she clenched her fist around her anger and made it work for her. Stroking him up and down with the backs of her fingers, from throat to navel, she whispered to him, "There you are. I love you."

He exhaled, hard. "I know."

Tears prickled her eyes. Steeling herself, she reached in and pulled, starting with the pain, sending it away into the ether. The fear went next. "Sleep, puppy."

His eyelids closed, and it was her turn to exhale hard as she caught an errant Love you too and then I'm sorry, Janni from his mind before it blanked out. Oh, god. She steeled her resolve. "Sleep for me and--" She choked. Never wake up were supposed to be the next words, but Perez slammed the door open. Not late, for once in his life. She cursed. Of all the shit timing--

So, Ben fully expects to wake up dead. To wake up on a luxury yacht in the arms of his wife? Yeah, he's so not going to believe what he's seeing...

And he doesn't, in my original version. But he goes with it because not doing so is almost unbearable. But my Writing Buddy is right. He needs to dive right back into don't-touch-me mode, because with all he's just been through, and the fact that his mind has been known to play nasty tricks on him before--

Yeah.

*evil laughter*