Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

So, something's been niggling at me for a few days, and I finally figured out what it is.

Ben.

Naturally. Who else?

Anyway. I just pulled him out of a situation where he was lying on the bed with his claws on his throat just from anticipating what they're going to put him through during the moon. Read: Strapped down on a table, needles in his arms, and wolfsbane wrapped around him to stop him Changing. It's agonizing, and given his Issues, an especially horrific experience for him. Thrall can mitigate it, but not overcome it completely.

Fast forward three weeks.

Tell me, o wise flist--what in the pluperfect hell has changed so much about his life in that three weeks that he's not just willing to go back on the table, but deliberately acts in a way guaranteed to put him there? How does he go from "near-suicidal completely-shut-down terrified numbness" to "stick me back on there and just get it the hell over with"?

Okay, yes, he's been seeing Janni out of the corner of his eye. It's not her (obviously), and it turns out that an enemy vampire has found out what she looks like and is setting out to drive him crazy and succeeding rather well, and I still need to actually write those scenes. But I'm not sure how that translates to "put me back on the table, I'm done."



Well. Perhaps in the writing of those scenes, I'll articulate his mental breakdown better. But right now it's sitting on the page screaming OOC!!! at me. And I hate that.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

So, something's been niggling at me for a few days, and I finally figured out what it is.

Ben.

Naturally. Who else?

Anyway. I just pulled him out of a situation where he was lying on the bed with his claws on his throat just from anticipating what they're going to put him through during the moon. Read: Strapped down on a table, needles in his arms, and wolfsbane wrapped around him to stop him Changing. It's agonizing, and given his Issues, an especially horrific experience for him. Thrall can mitigate it, but not overcome it completely.

Fast forward three weeks.

Tell me, o wise flist--what in the pluperfect hell has changed so much about his life in that three weeks that he's not just willing to go back on the table, but deliberately acts in a way guaranteed to put him there? How does he go from "near-suicidal completely-shut-down terrified numbness" to "stick me back on there and just get it the hell over with"?

Okay, yes, he's been seeing Janni out of the corner of his eye. It's not her (obviously), and it turns out that an enemy vampire has found out what she looks like and is setting out to drive him crazy and succeeding rather well, and I still need to actually write those scenes. But I'm not sure how that translates to "put me back on the table, I'm done."



Well. Perhaps in the writing of those scenes, I'll articulate his mental breakdown better. But right now it's sitting on the page screaming OOC!!! at me. And I hate that.