agilebrit: (D'Argo -- Shut up)
agilebrit ([personal profile] agilebrit) wrote2007-06-25 09:49 pm

Couldn't resist...

So I left the aforementioned badfic author a review on her newly-uploaded JLU fic.

So, tell me, because I really want to know...

Are you having your own private war on punctuation?

A period goes at the end of a sentence, unless you're using an ellipsis, a question mark, an em-dash, or an exclamation point. Some sort of punctuation goes there.

This: "Diana flew into her and Bruce’s bedroom she touched down on the bedroom floor then walked over opened the door and walked down the hallway then down the stairs she walked into the kitchen grabbed a bottle of water then walked out into the manor grounds and over to the stables she walked in and mounted her horse Athena." Whoa! Run-on sentences ahoy! You're missing several commas and periods in that one section alone, and the rest of the story is just as bad.

Spellcheck is your friend. However, it also allows you to make mistakes like this: "She road the hold day riding Athena." I believe you meant "She RODE the WHOLE day on Athena." I'm fairly certain that Bruce didn't really mean to mention Diana's nasal cavities when he said "...SINUS you were gone for so long." Proofreading is a better friend than spellcheck, and a good beta reader can be your best friend yet.

Also, quote marks go around the parts where people are talking. Script format is not allowed on this site--as you've already been told. And an apostrophe isn't code for "Hey, there's an S coming!" Apostrophes are for possessives and contractions, not plurals. "Nacho's" is wrong.

I'm not touching your plot with a ten-foot pole; I'll leave that for others.


Now that she's on my radar, there's no escape. *evil laughter*

Writing? Oh, yeah, that. I got stalled at "mouse-leather armor." Guess I should start poking it again...

ETA: And that one's gone now, two hours after I reviewed it. Still nothing in my inbox...

Yes, little fangirl. I am stalking your FFN account. Learn to write and format properly, and I shall cease.

[identity profile] emptyfuneral.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
Are you having your own private war on punctuation?
I think I'd like to copy this one down and stick it on my wall. Or at least keep it in my backpack as a go-to comment whenever I'm asked to read a classmate's paper because I have seen quite a bit of awful stuff.

[identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
I swear, it's a conspiracy...

[identity profile] emptyfuneral.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
Don't you mean:

I sware...its a conspiracy

?

[identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 04:36 am (UTC)(link)
Conspeeresy, maybe?

OW. That was painful to type.

[identity profile] crayonbreakygal.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
Is this what we're teaching our children? Good grief. Someone must have been asleep when grammar was taught. Gah!

[identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
IF grammar was taught...

[identity profile] whirligigged.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
I can't believe you even managed to read that far. I think I skimmed up to to "they both realised Diana was indeed married" and stopped before I decided to put myself out of my own misery. I commend you for your bravery. ;)

[identity profile] agilebrit.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
I skimmed most of it. My poor eyes. *stanches blood*

[identity profile] curiouswombat.livejournal.com 2007-06-26 12:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm fairly certain that Bruce didn't really mean to mention Diana's nasal cavities when he said

You are a cruel woman - and we all love you for it!

I am wondering how she is actually spelling it for it to be changed to sinus - my first thought was 'sins' - but then that is a perfectly good word in itself. 'Sinse'? But wouldn't autocprrect change that to 'sins' or 'since'? I am beginning to think she may actually be spelling it sinus!!