I'm a bad, bad, girl...

[agilebrit]

Yeah, I finally got a sockpuppet account at FFN for the *cough* less-than-flattering *cough* reviews I feel compelled to leave for dreck like this. Click the link; share my pain. It's not even my fandom. But with a summary like "just read and review" (just like that; no caps or punctuation) I couldn't help but check it out. And now my eyes are bleeding and my poor husband is scraping my brains off the wall because they exploded at the non-existent logic.

My review:

Please tell me this is a troll. You misspelled the second WORD in this story...and it's not a hard word. Proofreading is your friend. So is the spellcheck. So is a harsh beta reader. A beta reader would have corrected such simple errors as "madder" for "matter" and "kneals" for "kneels." You shift tenses all over the place. Pick one, present or past. And FYI, scriptfics are a no-no on this site. So is rating a story with that many swear words in it a "K." Your commas are either misplaced or not used at all where they're supposed to be, and what's up with using an apostrophe for a plural? "Throw's"? "Shoot's"? Um, no.

That's just your mechanics. Logic went "boom" when Elliot blamed Olivia for his wife being a cow and wanting a divorce because of some imagined affair. Why would he blame Olivia for that? And then shoot her? Man, any hope of patching things up with Kathy went right out the window when he did THAT.

In short, proofread, rate your fic properly, think your plot through logically, and get a beta reader. Please.

Guess I have a reason to check that inbox from now on. *grins evilly*

Comments

[whirligigged.livejournal.com]

Whoa. That is one of the most...well, surreal fics I have ever read. *snort* This line gets me: Whoa whoa, hold up, first of all you weren’t, also don’t go blaming her for your divorce. I mean...I'm fairly sure that Elliot knows if he was having an affair or not. And did he say anything about blaming her? It's like one of those dreams where everything anyone says is out of the blue. "My feet hurt...with destiny!"

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

I think we were supposed to get that he was blaming Olivia when he said "My own partner Fin!" But the writing is so sloppy that we don't really understand that until he somehow walks off the roof (without killing himself!) and then attacks her with bad grammar and spelling.

[zilly14.livejournal.com]

How was that a story? *shakes head in disbelief*

Frequent grammatical and spelling errors as well as a weak plot that won't let the characters be themselves is just... bad.

Good review. I hope the author takes what you said and either A) Corrects mistakes and rewrites story or B) Doesn't quit his/her day job

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

I'm betting it'll be taken down in three...two...one...

And I'll have a scathing email in my inbox in the morning chastising me for "hurting their feelings and crushing their dreams."

[nodrogg.livejournal.com]

A better course of action I'd recommend: Get Doc Brown to take you in his DeLorean time machine back to when public schools actually educated students, instead of merely puffing their "self-esteem" and ducking lawsuits. Astounding as it may seem, that exercise in illiteracy was the best that this victim of public "education" could do.

But I'm sure he knows all the latest penitentiary-culture hip-hop-niggaz rap lyrics...

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Well, there's a reason (more than one reason, actually) that Da Boy is getting homeschooled.

Honestly, though, whoever this person is, I'm convinced they can do better. This is just lazy, sloppy writing, done that way because "it's just fanfic." I break out in hives every time I hear that...

Hopefully this review will bring them up short and help them realize that not everyone is going to stroke their ego for every piece of dreck that comes out of their keyboard, and that good reviews have to be earned and aren't given just because you exist and posted a fic.

What I wouldn't give for Doc Brown's DeLorean, though. *covets*

[zilly14.livejournal.com]

Did you notice there were two more chapters now??

Cragen answers with a very blank hello.
Cragen: hello?

*shakes head*

There are also two other reviews: "DAMN thats about all i can say" and "[holy] crap!"

[zilly14.livejournal.com]

Oh now there's a fourth review, saying the author needs to proofread and needs a beta.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Ow. Ow, ow, ow. Jeepers.