*ponders*

[agilebrit]

This will be better, I think.

While attempting to figure out how this "solution" is not a deus ex machina for Ben, I've decided that it's just not going to go "as planned," and the relief he gets isn't going to be as great as I was going to give him at first. As my handsome and talented Writing Buddy points out, Ben is allowed to get help from outside sources, as long as it doesn't solve all his problems.

But, at the same time, I don't want my readers to think this is a cheat. So, it's a fine line I walk.

And I need to figure out how I'm going to describe how this shadow-cord is knotted around him. Because if I say "shibari," like, three people on the planet will understand it.

In other news, the Steelers apparently managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, losing in the last 34 seconds of the game. *shakes head*

Comments

[kensieg.livejournal.com]

is shibari anything like a shibjela?

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

It's, um, Japanese rope bondage. Which is not what's going on here, it's just the way the cord is tied around him, but it's the closest approximation to a one-word description I have, which won't do. So I've got this:

The shadowy cord formed an intricate pattern of diamonds, knotted at the corners, all over him, in a wide-meshed net.

instead.

[lady-moriel.livejournal.com]

That's kind of choppy because of all the comma-separated clauses--maybe shift it around like so?

The shadowy cord formed an intricate pattern of diamonds, knotted at the corners, in a wide-meshed net all over him.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, much better. Thanks!

[kensieg.livejournal.com]

A shibjela is a type of weapon in the Liaden Universe written by Sharon Lee & Steve Miller.

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Very different things then. LOL

[kensieg.livejournal.com]

I think shibjela might be a corruption of Jela's Shiv.