I think I like this much better than the other one because it's more of a hook. It grabs you and makes you WANT to find out more about the character, the setting, the story, etc.
The other one is more of a wrap up of a story that's already occurred. While it's good and the concept and character are good, all the action occurs off screen and it's a bit anti-climatic.
This one jumps the reader right into the fray. Good job!
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-02-11 10:17 pm (UTC)I think I like this much better than the other one because it's more of a hook. It grabs you and makes you WANT to find out more about the character, the setting, the story, etc.
The other one is more of a wrap up of a story that's already occurred. While it's good and the concept and character are good, all the action occurs off screen and it's a bit anti-climatic.
This one jumps the reader right into the fray. Good job!